


The Secret Bonds of a Monstrous Soul

by anarchycox



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Because Have You Met Me, Body Horror, Character Development, Consentacles, Fail sex, Feels, Friendship, It's confusing, Lust, M/M, Tentacle Sex, Tentacles, To become an agent you pull a supernatural creature into your soul, and is now a large world, and the supernatural, and turned on, but nothing makes me happier than blending the Kingsman with magic, in different sorts of monsters, lots of monster fucking, merlin is squicked, post the first movie, secret agents with secrets, struggle with changes, was supposed to be 2k of tentacle porn, what happens with your creature is not something you would want in your normal life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-07-12 05:31:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15988649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: When you are declared a Kingsman, Merlin walks you to a room. You go in alone and you are changed forever as a mythical creature is bonded to your soul. You become a little stronger, faster, a better healer, and in times of great need you can call on the creature put inside you, to save yourself, to save others. But you have to be careful, let them out too much, and you aren't coming home the same, if at all.No one is allowed to know what creature resides in you. It is in your file but sealed unless truly dire circumstances. Even Merlin doesn't know what his agents carry in him.Eggsy has no idea if this is awesome or the worst thing ever. But he wishes he could talk to somebody about whether he should be having tentacles. He wishes he could talk to Merlin about that. He wishes that he could talk to Merlin about a lot of things.He is so busy wishing he could talk, it will take a long time to realize that Merlin wishes the same.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【翻譯】The Secret Bonds of a Monstrous Soul](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16020029) by [sandykill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandykill/pseuds/sandykill)
  * Inspired by [Fortune Has Smiled on Those Who Wake Anew](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12804885) by [elrhiarhodan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elrhiarhodan/pseuds/elrhiarhodan). 



> this was supposed to be 2k of tentacle porn, but well have you met me?

"You want me to what now?" Eggsy asked.

"Go into the room," Merlin said calmly.

"Do you see Roxy?" Eggsy snapped. "Look at her. You want us to save the fucking world and you broke her. And now you want me to go in there too?" Eggsy took his hoodie off and wrapped it around Roxy who was on the ground, heaving, shaking. He had seen her in training, nothing took her down and right now he was scared that her shaking would snap her spine in half. "What the fuck did you do to her?"

"I did nothing," Merlin replied. "And if we want to defeat Valentine, you need to go in there and pray the room accepts you."

"Or wot?"

"Or Roxy and I will have to do it alone."

"Then fuck you, I can help without going in there."

"I don't..." Merlin looked pained. "Eggsy, I don't know if we can." He stared at his clipboard and then at the black door. Not in the basement like you would think, but just on the main floor. If it wasn't black, it would look nondescript. "Eggsy, ye were meant to sit at the table."

"Failed," Eggsy replied.

"No," Merlin countered.

"Merlin, I fucking failed. I failed the test and I failed Harry and it looks like I'm about to fail the fucking world."

"I would go in there if I could, I would carry that, but I can't," Merlin said. "But you can. You can convince that room, that you can do it."

"You talk as if the room is alive."

"It is," Roxy said hoarsely. She looked up at them and shakily stood. "Merlin, that room is alive."

"I know," he said softly. He pulled her into a hug. "You were mighty before ye stepped in."

"But mightier now," she said and he nodded.

"I'm not at the table."

"I hereby name ye Galahad," Merlin said over top of Roxy's head. "I acknowledge you in this time of great threat. You, Eggsy Unwin are pure of heart, and soul, and belong at the table." Merlin bowed his head to him and the door to the room swung open on its own.

"Right, not creepy at all," Eggsy pointed out. He looked at Roxy. "Rox..."

"We are running out of time," she said. "It's fucking terrifying but also...I can't describe it."

Eggsy looked at them and then at the room. From what he could see, it was just like any drawing room. Maybe this was all a put on, but it was a really stupid time to pull a prank. 

"Roxy, wait for him, I need to prep the plane," Merlin explained. He let go of her and went over and put a hand on Eggsy's shoulder. "Be true in there, and you will be fine."

"I don't know what that means," Eggsy whispered.

"Yes, you do," Merlin replied and squeezed and then ran down the hall.

Roxy went over to him. "You belong at the table too."

"Your eyes are glowing," Eggsy said. She closed them and took a few breaths and when she opened them they were normal again. "Guess I'll go get whatever is in you in me. Yay, this day is just the best ever."

"It won't be what is in me, trust me on that."

"What's in you?" Eggsy asked curious.

She opened her mouth to say but the words wouldn't form. She cleared her throat and tried again but it wouldn't come out. "I can't tell you," she realized.

"Maybe after I'm all monstered up too, or whatever it is." Eggsy turned and walked into the room, and the door closed behind him. It really was just a normal drawing room. Stiff chairs, a fireplace, window looking at the infinite void, books and fussy vases. He wasn't going to acknowledge the infinite void, hell that's what all the countryside gardens were to him anyways. 

It was harder to ignore the way the whole room seemed to giggle. That was creepy as fuck.

"Hello?" Eggsy called out.

_Hello_

"Who are you?"

_Who are you_

"I'm Eggsy yeah, I think Merlin just made me Galahad," Eggsy called out. He looked around the room and each turn the furniture melted away and there was just more nothing. He wanted to close his eyes but didn't dare. 

_I'm Eggsy yeah, I think Merlin just made me Galahad_

"Wot the fuck is going on?"

_Wot the fuck is going on_

Eggsy made a noise low in his throat. All that was left was void and a Victorian wing back chair. "Not sitting in that," he called out. "I'm not going to park my arse in an ugly as fuck chair to get more fucked by the universe than I already been in this life." There was the giggle again and it turned into a simple kitchen chair. "Better," he said and sat down, slumped, trying desperately to be defiant. "So wot now?"

_So wot now_

"Really?" Eggsy shouted.

_Really_

"What do you fucking want from me?"

_What do you fucking want from me_

Eggsy was about to curse, to scream and just stopped. Merlin told him to be true. Whatever that meant. "Please, please do whatever it is you do. Do it to me."

_Why_

Well that was different.

"I don't know," Eggsy whispered. He looked down and the space under his feet should have terrified him, but it didn't. "I was rejected. You had Roxy in here, you know how much better she is than me. But Merlin needs my help. Roxy needs my help." Eggsy was quiet. "And -" he couldn't say more.

_You carry a lot in such a small word_

"I carry universes in me," Eggsy replied. "My da used to say that. That we all carry universes in us, infinite possibilities."

_Depths. You don't have universes, you have depths_

"Look whatever you give me, you can take back after this. You can kill me for it if you have to, so long as Daisy is safe, yeah? Take whatever you want from me. Whatever is in me that Merlin seems to think is worth a damn is yours, if we just manage to keep the world safe for her."

_I like you. We like you_

"That is fucking terrifying, no offense." Eggsy looked up and stared into the nothing and realized that it wasn't nothing. Things were moving and something was coming close to him.

_You have been chosen_

"Is that good?"

_Is that good_

"What do I have to do?"

**What do I have to do**

That was in a different voice entirely, not the small happy one that freaked him out. It was deeper, distorted, like something you hear underwater or from far away. He looked around but could only make out an enormous shape and it felt like water was lapping at his feet.

**He has enough depths for me to survive**

"I do?"

**Say it like you mean it**

Eggsy closed his eyes. "I do," he said firmly. He felt torn apart and made whole. The world, the galaxy poured into him, and out of him, hollowed out his soul. No expanded it, to make room. And then in an instant he realized that he was no longer alone in his mind, in his heart. But it was quiet, just a small hum, a presence. A white noise in his soul. "What happens now?"

_What happens now_

"I guess I go save the fucking world huh? And then I return here to give it back? If I make it?"

**Galahad, we must depart**

The words were in his head, and they hurt. It was that deeper underwater sound again, but he could understand it. It pushed at his mind, and he pushed back.

**I like you**

"Still terrifying," he said. "Uh thank you?"

_Uh you're welcome_

Eggsy laughed a little and in a blink it was a normal drawing room again. He wasn't as shaky as Roxy had been but he did not feel great. He stumbled his way to the plane and collapsed in a chair when he got there. "Right then, tell me now Rox," he said as they took off, Merlin in the front behind a steel door.

"I have -" but again the words were trapped in her throat.

"I have -" he tried and again it was trapped. "Oi, wait, I don't even know who I'm carrying around and you make it so I can't say shit? Come on bruv," he said.

"I know who I have and it scares me," Roxy said.

 **She should be scared** , the voice whispered in his head.

"Should I be scared?" Eggsy asked. Roxy just shrugged.

Eggsy saw boats crashing, breaking on waves. No, breaking on tentacles, being pulled down into the water, into an impossible mouth. Depths in the cold, in the water. Danger in the depths. Hidden, endless depths.

**You are as deep as my beloved ocean. They will crash against us and we will break them.**

Holy fucking shit, I carry the Kraken in me, Eggsy realized as all the images floating behind his eyes came to focus. "Oh fuck, yeah I'm scared," he told Roxy. "Fuck what happens to us?"

"I don't know," she said.

They sat in silence until Merlin landed the plane and they prepped Roxy to go into space. When he and Merlin flew to the bunker he had to ask. "I know you can't say what is in you, but you scared of it too?" Eggsy asked him.

"I told ye, Eggsy, I'm staff, I'm not allowed in the room. I am not worthy."

"You're Merlin," Eggsy protested. "If anyone should have freaky superpowers it should be you. Did I gain freaky superpowers?"

"You are enhanced now, but nae. Not unless you let them free. But that is nae a good idea."

"Merlin, you should be allowed in the room. No one better than you."

"There are many better than I," Merlin said and Eggsy didn't really notice that Merlin was staring at him as he said it.

Merlin was right, Eggsy was just a little faster, a little stronger, there was a depth to his rage that he never had before as he fought.

When it was over that deep voice in his head was happy. **We broke them all. They broke on us**.

"Right," he said. He went back to the princess and freed her, and they flew her to the nearest city. He was too queasy to fuck. When they returned to the estate, Eggsy found a room and wanted to collapse on the bed but there was that nudge at his brain. And the nudge had a fair point. He went into the bathroom and turned on the water, the shower poured down as hot as he could bear and washed away the blood, the pain.

He was leaning on the wall and looking down at the faucet when he noticed an almost but not completely incorporeal tentacle emerge from his chest and turned the water cooler.

**The dark is cold, we like the cold.**

"Fuck you, we like the hot," Eggsy said and turned it back up, though not as hot. He realized what had happened. "Wot the fuck?" he asked but there was no answer. It seemed the Kraken that now lived in his soul was pouting because the shower water was too hot for its liking. "Unfucking believable," Eggsy groaned. He turned off the water and didn't bother drying off, just went and collapsed on the bed. Perhaps in the morning it would be gone.

He dreamed of broken ships and broken men.

Eggsy could feel what it felt like to be larger than he could comprehend, depths of water that would crush a human. And it felt like home.

When he woke, that presence was still in his head.

Eggsy guessed he really was a Kingsman.

That idea was more terrifying than the monster in his soul.

He got up and went to find Merlin, to find out what was next. He had a feeling he had a lot to learn.


	2. Chapter 2

"Merlin?" Eggsy knocked on his door. "I need a favour."

Merlin turned in his chair. "Of course," he said easily.

"I need to go back into that room." Eggsy tried to hide that his hands were shaking. "I sort of said, when we were back that I'd go in and they could kill me or whatever because I'm not supposed to have this. So uh, you need to let me in."

"The door to that room isn't locked," Merlin said.

"I can't find it," Eggsy said. "I know where it is supposed to be, but every time I go down that hall, I just can't find the room." He looked at Merlin. "Help?"

Merlin nodded and got up and they went upstairs and Merlin took him to the room again. "It won't be what you expect."

"This isn't the room," Eggsy said. "It was in the other wing."

"Was it?" Merlin asked. He frowned and looked at the black door. "No, this is where the room always is."

"No, it was in the other wing, and wait we're on the third floor, Merlin. It weren't on the third floor." Eggsy was positive of that. "Wot the fuck?"

"The room where the room is," Merlin said after a moment. He looked at the door and just shrugged. 

"Nope. Come on," Eggsy stalked off down a floor, "You wait right there." He ran back up and came down. "The room wasn't fucking there Merlin."

"Of course it wasn't," Merlin gave him a look. "Why were ye looking for it on the third floor?"

"Because less than five minutes you took me there, and there the black door was!" Eggsy wondered if he was losing his mind.

**Hehehehe**

Oh great the thing inside him was laughing at him. He was likely going to the room to die and the bloody kraken was laughing.

"Come along, Eggsy, it is this way." This time Merlin took him to a small space just past the kitchens and sure enough there was the black door.

"This isn't where it was," Eggsy wasn't going to scream. He wasn't.

"This is where the room always is," Merlin said.

"You said that before and look it moved," Eggsy gestured wildly. "It's a moving room."

"Eggsy, rooms don't move, they are rooms."

Eggsy was debating throttling Merlin but he realized that the man wasn't pulling his leg. Merlin wasn't pulling some bullshit. "Okay, hang on," Eggsy said and dragged Merlin into the kitchens. He counted to ten in his head and pulled Merlin back out. "Merlin, I need to get to the room. Please." He kept his voice calm and level and didn't say a word about there being no door there at all anymore.

"Of course," Merlin said. "Did ye need a snack, is that why the detour here?"

"Yeah, but it can wait."

Merlin just shrugged and they went back to the basement and the black door was across from Merlin's office. "There ye go, just like always. Why you couldn't find it when you had to walk by it to mine, I have no idea. Now, can I get back to my tasks for the day?"

Eggsy didn't take his eyes off the door. "Yeah, thanks Merlin."

Merlin didn't say anything, just went back to his office. Eggsy didn't even blink, he didn't want it disappearing again and he was pretty sure Merlin would have an epic strop if he had to lead Eggsy to the door again.

"So you bastard what's that about then?" Eggsy whispered.

 **Hehehehe** echoed in his mind again, that deep underwater sound.

Eggsy took a few deep breaths and opened the door. It was just a room, like before, though this was clearly an office. Desk with computer, patched up chair, bookcase, floor filling with water, you know the standard. "Hello?" he called out. The water was up to his ankles and the creature inside him was humming. "Hello?" he repeated as the water went to his knees. It was rising quickly and so cold and there was no response but he supposed their wouldn't be. "Thanks yeah, for the power? Daisy is safe, which is what I wanted. So I guess?" He didn't try to swim or tread as the water went to chest high. "I guess, I thank you and return what was temporarily offered." He nodded as the water covered his shoulders. "I accept whatever comes next," Eggsy said and closed his eyes as the water swallowed him whole. He remembered from training, the strain would start to burn soon. He would scream and thrash and then it would be done.

He opened his eyes and expected to see floating papers, the office, which really why he expected that after last time he didn't know. It was so dark. The room's lights had been on but this was a dark that he couldn't comprehend. Even in pitch black, eyes blindfolded there had never been a dark like this.

His lungs weren't burning yet.

**Breathe**

He opened his mouth and the water flooded into him and it felt good. It filled his lungs and then poured back out. And it wasn't black, it wasn't dark, how could he have thought such a thing? It was so clear. He turned slowly in the water and could see ships, ancient ships broken in half, skeletons, spilled gold. All of it in a circle, an enormous spot in the middle. He swam down to the sand and lay down. It was comfortable. It just about perfectly held him, which was crazy because it was likely an equivalent to a few square blocks. But it felt cozy.

Eggsy lay on his back and stared up at the rippling water. They were so far down, the sun could only be imagined. He reached up and watched his fingers move through the water.

**They will break on us**

"I thought..." Eggsy wasn't sure how he was talking underwater. "I don't know what I thought."

_You sit at the table_

"Barely," Eggsy muttered. "An emergency only. And only because Harry died." And there was that creepy giggle of the dark corners of the universe. "A good man dying is so funny?"

_Galahad wasn't a good man_

"He were the best," Eggsy protested.

_Those are different_

"Doesn't matter does it?" Eggsy asked. 

_Doesn't matter does it_

"Not this again," Eggsy groaned.

_Not this again_

 

"I sit at the table, so what?" Eggsy buried his hands in the sand, his skin felt itchy, it would stop him from scratching.

_So what_

"That sounded so...final," Eggsy said, "is it?"

_Is it_

"Was for Harry," Eggsy said. "Was for Chester. Fuck don't even want to know what was in that bastard."

**Distorted. Wrong. Poor fit. Not like us**

"Woot for being a good fit then," Eggsy said. The itch was crawling over all his skin. One scratch, just one scratch and he'd be fine. "What about Harry, what was in him?" His one hand left the sand and went under his shirt, over his stomach. He wouldn't scratch. He wouldn't.

_Is. Is in Harry_

The words shocked Eggsy enough that he dug his fingers into his stomach and the flesh tore and the tentacles poured out and it felt like he was turned inside out, he was in the Kraken, not the other way around. He couldn't fathom how all that fit in him as they glided over boats and broken history.

**You are deeper than the ocean**

Eggsy thought maybe he could see a glimpse of sun and focused himself. "This is my fate, until I die, isn't it? I was never giving it back was I?"

**Mine**

_Ours_

Eggsy tilted his head, the kraken's head up and pushed up, kicking hard, and finally his lungs started to burn as he pushed. He screamed and was standing completely dry in the office, everything in perfect place. "This is insane."

**Yes**

He lifted up his shirt and stared at his smooth stomach, not a mark on it and sighed in relief. The skin rippled and for a moment it seemed like something was swimming under there. He swatted his stomach. "Cut that shit out or all my showers will be boiling hot." The skin returned to normal. He was ready to lecture the creature inside him to not be so freaky when his brain fully caught up to what happened. "Oh my god," he whispered and stumbled for a moment before righting himself and pulling at the door handle. He crossed the hall and forgot to knock. "Merlin," he was gasping, like he was still running out of air. 

"Eggsy, what happened?" Merlin hurried over. "You are chilled." The lad's skin was icy.

"Where I was will do that to you," Eggsy said. "But that doesn't matter. Merlin. Merlin, Harry is alive," Eggsy looked at Merlin. "Merlin, he's alive."

Merlin looked sympathetic and he went to the cupboard and pulled out a blanket. He wrapped it around Eggsy. "I'm sorry, lad, I am, but his signal went dark. I saw...I saw it all."

"His other half didn't return to the void," Eggsy told him.

"Other half?" that was not a phrase that Merlin had ever heard it called before.

"I..." Eggsy shook his head. "I don't know why I chose that. But it don't matter, it was pretty clear. Harry's hasn't returned. Which means, that he has to be alive. At least a little, because if he were dead, they wouldn't be telling me it is in Harry. Not was, is." Eggsy will Merlin to believe him. "Come on, Merlin. He's alive."

Merlin walked over to his computer and began to type. "This may take a while."

"This is a cozy blanket," Eggsy said and went and sat in the chair in the corner. He watched Merlin type at a speed he didn't even know people could go; his fingers eventually hurt just watching. Eventually his throat grew dry and he wanted some water. "Merlin anything to drink in here?" Merlin gestured and Eggsy saw the small fridge in the corner. He got up and went over but before he could reach it a tentacle slid out of his stomach, not fully fleshed, but not ghostly either and it opened the fridge.

**Mmmmm**

Eggsy moved quickly to block the line of sight. He slapped the tentacle away from the bottle of water and it crawled back into Eggsy. Later, he would have the proper time to be freaked out by that, but now they were busy. He drank the cold water which was cold enough to hurt his teeth and made the Kraken almost giddy. He went back to the chair and the typing slowed for a moment before it somehow went even faster.

"There you are," Merlin said.

"Merlin?"

"An old name, a code name I had almost forgotten. There, in Kentucky." Merlin looked over to Eggsy. "He is alive." He typed a little more. "Percival will go assess and retrieve him."

"Why not us?"

"Because he was already in North America, a lot faster for him to go," Merlin said. "We'll have word within a few hours."

Eggsy nodded. The time would pass so fucking slowly. "Hey Merlin, where's the black door, right now? Don't walk me to it, just tell me."

"Attic, where it always is."

Eggsy nodded. "Room is where it is, right?"

"Exactly so."

Eggsy had a nap in the chair while Merlin worked and then word came through. Percival would be bringing Harry home in three days. Merlin sent Eggsy upstairs to get some rest and Eggsy tried to protest that he was fine but Merlin and the Kraken both grumbled at him enough that he went up to a bed. He stripped down to his pants and lay down. He put his hand on his stomach, where he had torn himself open underwater. A tentacle, there and not reached out of him and wrapped around his wrist.

Eggsy realized it was a hug, or almost one. "So you and me huh?"

**I like you**

"We'll figure out how I feel about you at some point." Eggsy yawned and the tentacle reached out and covered him with a blanket. "Harry's coming home," he said.

The Kraken didn't answer and Eggsy fell asleep and dreamed of the dark at the bottom of the world. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, Harry?" Eggsy asked as he helped the man with his morning PT. Two weeks they had had Harry back and Eggsy was spending as much time as he could with the man. Everyone was thrilled that he was back and that a return to the table wasn't out of line with enough work. There was an unspoken agreement between the agents that if he passed all the regulations they could get rid of the Arthur brought over from MI-6. Though when Eggsy thought about it, no one had seen that man since his first big, I'm running the show now meeting. Merlin just seemed to be running it all and that office left empty. He'd have to look into that later. There was a cough and he realized that Harry was waiting for whatever Eggsy had wanted to say. "Oh right, so I know you can't say what your other half is, but like, does it scare you? What it is?"

Harry was clearly thinking. "Yes and no," he finally said. The words were a little less crisp but his speech therapy was moving along faster than his pt. "What is in me...I am accustomed to it now, but scared anew when fully unleashed."

"We aren't supposed to do that, Merlin said."

"Yes and we aren't supposed to have more than a couple drinks a week, or watch too much telly, or smoke a fine cigar while on vacation," Harry said. "It is unwise to give what rests in you too much power, but I cannot say I've never let them drive the car so to speak."

"Does yours talk to you?" Eggsy asked and he helped Harry off the stationary bike and over to the free weights.

"In great need, otherwise it is just...a noise in the back of my mind." Harry looked at Eggsy. "They are not our friends, they are creatures of great pain and destruction."

"I know," Eggsy agreed quickly, "But -"

"No buts, Eggsy, I may unleash mine more than others, but do not make the mistake in thinking you can ally with it. Given the chance they would take over and wreak havoc on the world."

**I would drown it all**

_No you wouldn't_ , Eggsy thought back, drown it all and you lose the fun of breaking pieces of it.

**...I would drown two thirds of it**

_See there you go,_ Eggsy smirked to himself. 

"Eggsy?"

"Sure, Harry," Eggsy agreed. "No befriending my monster."

Harry was a bit concerned. "I would advise you caution. What we carry in us? These are not creatures of light."

"That is a fucking fact," Eggsy agreed. "Now come on bicep curls."

Harry huffed but they finished the workout. When they went to the showers, Harry's was put on painfully hot and as Eggsy started to twist his almost as hot there was a grumble in his brain and he lowered it to warm. There was still a grumble but he ignored it. The thing was always grumbly. 

**Cold water is better**

_Not looking to have my balls recede back into my body thanks_

**You mean your round tentacles behind your puny main tentacle**

_Fuck you, my dick ain't puny_ , Eggsy thought. He looked down and that not quite ghostly tentacle poked at his cock. "Oi!" he said out loud. Very loud.

"Eggsy?" Harry asked concerned. 

Thank Christ there were three quarter walls between each shower head. Eggsy pinched the tentacle until it disappeared back into his body. "Sorry, Harry, shoulder just moved in the socket weird."

Harry gave a small nod. "Janky knee for me," he said in sympathy. "Plus side I know when unexpected rain will affect a mission."

"Handy," Eggsy said and they finished up. "I need to talk to Merlin, and you have speech therapy."

"The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plains," Harry said and it was only a little slurred.

"Coming along, Haz," Eggsy said, so happy for the man. 

"Not going to be Arthur, I want to be in the field," Harry muttered.

"Of course, Harry, no one has plans to put you in charge." Eggsy snickered at the look Harry gave him.

**What is inside him should never be in charge. Madness.**

_What's inside him then?_ Eggsy thought as he walked towards Merlin's office. He wasn't surprised when the Kraken was quiet. He knocked on Merlin's door. "You busy?"

"For the next fifteen minutes, aye," Merlin said and gestured towards the chair. Eggsy went and sat and watched Merlin's fingers fly. He was getting obsessed with watching Merlin type. It was again almost a blur, and he thought about how those fingers moved, almost boneless but sharp. It had to be magic. He wasn't aware that the fifteen minutes had passed until Merlin spun around and looked at him. "What do ye need, Galahad?"

"Where is the room with the black door?" he asked, just like he did every time he saw Merlin.

Merlin wondered how come Eggsy always forgot where it was, but he was the only agent Merlin had ever known who went in for a second time. "Third floor off the library, like always. Do ye intend to visit again?"

"Not today," Eggsy said. "We can't speak our other half's name, not even to each other. Why?"

"Names are powerful things," Merlin said after a moment. "It was decided it was better to hide what you carried. Not give it more voice that necessary."

Eggsy leaned forward. "Decided. Not by the room."

Merlin looked at him. "Not by me either Eggsy, I just follow the rules."

"Are there different rules for you though?"

"I'm mere support staff."

"Where's the room, Merlin?"

"Third floor, east wing," Merlin said. "Why?"

"Nothing," Eggsy said. "Do we know after people died what they carried?"

Merlin shook his head. "No."

"Did anyone...you worry about the other half taking us over, being released. Has that happened?"

"Once," Merlin said.

**Thrice**

"You're lying to me," Eggsy said.

"No," Merlin replied and leaned back in his chair. "I have no reason to. It only happened once, in the sixties. It was...it was..." Merlin couldn't find the words.

**Beautiful**

"Are the reports so bad?" Eggsy asked. 

"Reports?" Merlin was confused.

"Shit was there video of it?" Eggsy asked. "Fuck the cover up you must have had to have done."

"I saw it, Eggsy," Merlin said. "It was horrific, just fire and destruction, and despair. It felt like the world would end."

"On video," Eggsy pressed.

"No, I was there."

"Bruv, the sixties, wouldn't you have been in the single digits?" Eggsy looked at him, "Unless you are looking really really fucking good for your age."

"I'm 51," Merlin said.

"So how could you have seen it?"

Merlin was at a loss. "I just did."

"But -" Eggsy was lost.

**Stop pressing this**

"Merlin?" It looked like Merlin had a growing headache. "Are you okay?"

"I am a paradox," Merlin replied; Eggsy doubted the man even knew he had said that.

"No, you are Merlin and my friend," Eggsy told him and was relieved when the man's brow eased. "Merlin, what if what is inside of us is friendly?"

"Do not trust it," Merlin said immediately. "Remember that it is an essence, a promise. You are what is real."

"Sure, got it," Eggsy said. "Don't work too hard."

"I don't sleep, it is fine," Merlin said and went back to typing.

"Merlin where is the room?" 

"Down the hall, fifth door on the right."

Eggsy stalked out of his office and down the hall and there it was. He stormed in, not giving a shit. "What the fuck have you done to Merlin?" he shouted. It was a completely empty room except for the teddy bear in the middle of the floor that was twenty feet tall. Eggsy ran and jumped up it and climbed so that he could look at the cheap plastic eyes up close. "What the fuck did you do to him?" He could see galaxies in those eyes. But there was no answer. "If you hurt him, I'll destroy you."

_If you hurt him, we'll destroy you_

"Fuck you," Eggsy snarled. "He shouldn't be your toy. He's the best of us."

_He shouldn't be your toy. He's the best of us_

Eggsy's rage somehow was red hot and ice cold at the same time and he brought a hand back and punched it into one of those eyes. The whole room wobbled at the punch. When he would have punched again, several tentacles wrapped around his hand.

**Don't**

Eggsy let his arm drop. "He deserves better."

_He deserves everything_

"Okay, just so you know that. The bear is really creepy." There was just that unfathomable giggle and he slid down it and walked out of the room.

**Every time you go back in you make me stronger. So you know do it again**

Eggsy ignored that and went home. He ate and paced and tried to put pieces together, the pieces of Merlin and he just couldn't. He would have wanked to distract himself but he hadn't since the monster had been put in him. He thought it would be weird. He stripped down and climbed into his bed and stared at his ceiling for at least an hour.

**Play with your puny tentacle, you'll feel better**

"It's not a fucking tentacle," Eggsy said out loud since they were alone.

**Yes it is**

"Okay, I mean yeah it is for fucking, but it isn't a tentacle and for the last time it isn't puny, it's perfectly average, maybe a bit above." Eggsy paused. "Wait, you know what it is."

**hehehe**

"Are you fucking kidding me? You been trolling me with that puny tentacle crap?" Eggsy started to laugh. "An ancient and wondrous evil, and it is trolling me over my junk."

**Not evil, just am**

"Is that so?" Eggsy asked. "You sent hundreds, thousands, to their death. You revel in breaking people, owning the sea. That's not evil?"

**Travel comes with trouble. I am trouble. Trouble is not wholly evil**

"I think I can get that. Sounds familiar," Eggsy had to admit. "I'm so bloody wound up." He doubted sleep was coming anytime soon. He went very still when he felt that tentacle crawl down his stomach. It should freak him out, that a tentacle came out of his stomach, one that looked like a ghost but that he could touch. It got a little freakier when there was a second that traveled upwards and wrapped around his wrist, but he supposed that was almost a hug. And then a third that just sort of stayed on his stomach and stroked his skin. "What are you doing?" he had to ask.

**I need rest your dreams are too loud and not of the water**

The tentacle that had been crawling downwards wrapped around Eggsy's soft dick. "Umm, got to be honest, not sure this will do what you want?" his voice was almost a squeak when the tentacle squeezed. The one around his hand and wrist offered an anchor, a comfort and the one on his stomach moved up to flick at a nipple.

**Picture him**

"I don't...I like Harry and sure he's gorgeous, but don't think about him like that," Eggsy said

**Don't play the fool. Picture him**

Eggsy closed his eyes and thought of Merlin. He thought of the way Merlin's fingers flew over the keys, wondered what they would feel like on his skin. When the tentacle squeezed and moved over his cock he could feel himself getting hard. "This goes way past any search I have done on pornhub," Eggsy said.

**Shut up**

It was a fair call and Eggsy went back to think about Merlin - the man's smile, his eyes and how warm they were when you made him happy. Eggsy wondered how warm they would be after a kiss. The tentacle felt odd because it should be slimy, but it wasn't, perhaps because it was more the idea than the actual thing. But he was fully hard and he began to rock into the touch. The tentacle that was caressing his nipple he picked up and moved down to squeeze his balls as the other stroked. "You uh...got another of those?" A fourth came out and Eggsy held it and figured they were already this far and put it in his mouth and began to suck.

**Fuccccckkkkkkk**

Eggsy laughed a little at that and soon it was all sensation, touches against his skin, the incredibly odd weight of an almost ghostly appendage on his tongue. It was overwhelming and just short of painful. The tentacle on his balls moved and pressed against his whole and he dropped the one he was sucking on to curse at the sensation. The tip wiggled in and he saw stars. The one he had been sucking on nudged at his mouth and Eggsy pulled it back in as deep as he good. It was an insane feedback loop of pleasure, what he felt, what the Kraken felt circling and amplifying the sensations. Eggsy rocked his hips up, snapping them and it wasn't long before he was coming. He gave a last suck to the one in his mouth and soon the tentacles were gone back inside him. He began to giggle and rolled over into a ball.

"Think this is what they meant when they warned me to not get too close to you?" He couldn't stop the giggles and soon was gasping for air.

One tentacle came back out to pull the blankets over him.

**Sleep, dream quieter**

"What if I dream of him? You put him in my brain?"

**He was already there, I just pointed it out**

"You going to stop calling my dick a puny tentacle?" Eggsy yawned, finally relaxed.

**No**

"Of course not," Eggsy gave a small chuckle. "G'night then, Krakkie."

**Fuck you**

"Another time, with lube," Eggsy agreed and fell asleep, and it was a quiet rest.


	4. Chapter 4

_You are sure they can't see you?_ Eggsy thought as he swam lengths in the public pool. He looked down into the water and there were tentacles, five or six, he couldn't tell and they were longer than he had ever seen them and they were swirling in the water below.  _Because you can't be seen_. He turned and head back. He was on length fifteen and was planning to do thirty. The Kraken had been begging for more water, so he had gotten a day pass to a sports centre that had a good pool and Krakkie had hated the chlorine but loved the water. And hell it was good exercise, shook it up a bit, so he decided to come once a week. It had been a month and the Kraken was so damn happy. He wondered what would happen if he actually went into an ocean.

He was a little scared to find out.

And also a little intrigued.

**The children cannot see me.**

_Good, because that might you know, freak them the fuck out_.

 **Are your young tasty**?

Eggsy bobbled under the water for a moment and then slapped a tentacle hard.

**Hehehehe**

_Fuck off_ , Eggsy thought and gave another smack before swimming again. The Kraken urged him to dive under, deeper, all the way to the bottom and Eggsy ignored it the way you ignored a toddler demanding a biscuit. He finishes his laps and gave a tug to the highest tentacle and there were grumbles as they disappeared back into his body. Eggsy saw the other side of the pool was pretty quiet and he climbed to the top of the 5 metre diving board. He bounced on it a little and then did a simple jackknife and when he was in the water he pushed down to the bottom of the pool. The Kraken was practically purring in his mind, and Eggsy felt his lungs begin to burn but he stayed as long as he could. Once his vision started to blur, he swam back up.

**Thank you**

_Yeah yeah._ Eggsy went and had a quick shower and then once ready headed to the estate. He automatically went to Merlin's office, as he always did when he went in. "Hey, Merlin, what's shaking?"

Merlin gave him a blinding smile and it made Eggsy stumble how beautiful Merlin looked in that moment. When the smile fading he was back to his normal self, but Eggsy realized just how attractive that normal self was. "Eggsy, excellent news."

"Bors returned with all weapons intact?"

Merlin snorted. "I said news, not a miracle."

"Lay it on me then," Eggsy said. "What has you all giddy?"

"Today, Harry has been declared fit for duty. Which means as Merlin I can call an official meeting and vote to declare him Arthur."

Eggsy found himself grinning widely as well. "That's brilliant!"

"Aye," Merlin agreed. "It will be wonderful."

**No**

Eggsy ignored that. "When do we do this?"

"Seventy-two hours," Merlin said, "need to give everyone time to come in. This is not a meeting people can just be beamed in for. Everyone has to be in attendance for a vote to confirm an Arthur."

**Not him**

"Harry finally come around to the idea?" Eggsy asked.

"He has," Merlin was almost bouncing.

"I know why I want him in charge, why do you want him in charge?" Eggsy had to admit he was really curious about the answer to this.

Merlin came over and dropped heavy heads on Eggsy's shoulders and squeezed. His eyes were bright and filled with sincerity. "Because then he is going out in the field 80% less and therefore 80% less fucking my shit up."

Eggsy almost fell over laughing. "Oh my god, that is the most Merliny thing you have ever said." He had to go sit on his chair, he was laughing so much. "You want him in charge to keep him out of your hair? How does that make sense?"

"Since I have little hair, it makes perfect sense," Merlin replied. "He'll care about the job, but in a way that actually lets me do mine. We properly bring someone in from MI-6 or some such then I might be hampered. Harry will let me play with lasers."

The Kraken was practically screaming in his mind and Eggsy did his best to ignore it. "Harry brought me in, he's a great mentor, he'll be a great Arthur."

"No, he'll be a horrible Arthur, but in a way that we need," Merlin said.

**Not him, not that madness**

"Hey, Merlin, does the creature inside change when you change jobs?" Eggsy asked. "I mean what suited in the field, does it suit being in charge?"

**It does not**

"Ye cannae change what you carry," Merlin said, "that is fixed until you die."

"But the room -"

"Eggsy, ye know the room isn't alive, it is just a room. It is...a conduit," was what Merlin came up with.

"Where is it now?" Eggsy asked.

"The attic," Merlin answered, "Just like always."

"Not alive my arse," Eggsy muttered.

**Do I get to properly play with your arse today?**

Eggsy definitely ignored that. "Merlin," he stopped himself.

"Yes?"

"Nothing, it will be great to see everyone in person. Only actually met a handful for real."

"It will, I am happy when all my beloveds are home," Merlin said.

"Merlin, you call agents beloveds, that's a little much, innit?"

**He means what they carry**

"I didn't say beloveds, I said bastards," Merlin replied and he looked sincere. 

"Well, I'm off," Eggsy said and decided to just go home, there'd be no work until after the confirmation of Harry. He went into his flat and poked his stomach. "Okay, Krakkie what the fuck?"

**Can we try fucking?**

"No," Eggsy snapped, "Why are you so against Harry being in charge. Like more against it than the idea of us getting a mission in the desert."

**It is a bad idea**

"You don't think humans have any good ideas," Eggsy replied. He went to the kitchen and made some food. Chicken just to annoy Krakkie; he was only happy when Eggsy ate fish. "Harry is a good man, clever, fast, strong. And he gets what the job takes. He'd make a good boss."

**No he wouldn't**

"You keep saying that with zero explanation. What am I supposed to do, vote against one of the two men who believed in me? How can you ask that of me?" The food felt sour in his stomach and he threw the rest away. "You ask me to not trust him."

**You shouldn't**

"But he's one of the ones who has actually let his creature have some free rein, that should be who we want in charge, they are more likely to get you and I. Maybe with him in charge we could show a relationship with your you, isn't so bad," Eggsy said. He rubbed his stomach and a tentacle came out and touched him. "You got anyone else from us that could sit there well?" Krakkie was silent. "You have to give me something to work with here, buddy."

**He**

Eggsy frowned, it wasn't like Krakkie to not just express what annoyed him. There had once been three hours of screaming in his head over Eggsy saying planes were better than boats. "Krakkie?"

**If I think at the meeting someone is better than Harry, will you listen to me?**

He had to think about it, because Merlin wanted Harry as his boss, and Eggsy couldn't picture Merlin ever being wrong. And whatever the Kraken was thinking was about his own benefit, not Eggsy's, not the Kingsman. But the Kraken honestly seemed upset at the thought of Harry in charge. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll listen," Eggsy finally agreed.

**************************************

"I call this meeting to order," Merlin said and Eggsy looked at each agent at the table. They looked a bit different than they did when just on his glasses and it felt weird that they were all in the same suit. Little copies all in a row. The Kraken was buzzing in the back of his head but hadn't said anything yet. Eggsy figured no one else would work. And he did think that Harry was the best bet. Sure he still thought they should be wary of what they carried, but he got that having it completely chained was a bad idea.

**Chaining what is in Harry is a good idea**

_Jesus you hate it a lot don't you_ , Eggsy thought. He realized that he was missing what Merlin was saying but it was likely all just point of order stuff, especially from the way Bors was clearly falling asleep.

**Not him**

_No shit, Bors should barely be in charge of lacing his own oxfords. What about Roxy_?

**Still too scared of what she carries**

_No one here will be better than Harry, just by process of_   _elimination._ Eggsy looked around the table and the Kraken just gave negative answers to each, sort of proving Eggsy's point. But when he looked at Percival across the table it was different.

**Look how shiny**

_Shiny?_

**Him, Eggsy, nominate him**

_Why?_ Eggsy looked at Percival and the man looked exactly like he did when they briefly met during the trials. Calm, centered. The man seemed the most self-possessed of all the agents. Eggsy was good at reading people and he got nothing off the man.

**HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM HIM**

"Now I support that Harry Hart, previously Galahad, be made Arthur, but he does need a nomination from the table," Merlin said formally and stared at Eggsy. Harry smiled at him, and soon every eye was on him, giving Eggsy the courtesy of making the nomination.

Eggsy stood. "I hereby nominate -"

**PERCIVAL AND HIS CREATURE ARE COMPLETELY ONE**

Eggsy cleared his throat, "I hereby nominate Percival for the role of Arthur." He sat back down and tried not to shake too much. He couldn't believe he had said that and the way everyone was reacting, neither could they. He wished he could blame the words on Krakkie but they were his own.

Merlin's face did not show his surprise, and he just looked at Eggsy. "Galahad, could you affirm your statement for the record?" He was clearly thinking nerves had attacked and Eggsy had said the wrong name.

Eggsy kept his gaze on Harry, "I hereby nominate Percival for the role of Arthur." There were a million emotions on Harry's face, and Eggsy wondered if he ended their friendship right then and there.

"I second it," Roxy said swiftly, surprised and pleased.

Merlin looked around the table and no one was speaking to offer a counter. "We vote," he said and within two minutes Percival was Arthur. "I now offer that since the name Galahad has been bestowed on Eggsy, another be given to Harry so that he may rejoin the table. Thoughts?"

"Kay is available," Percival replied, "A loyal and strong name."

"Second that," Eggsy said quickly like it would make up for his betrayal. The vote easily passed and Harry gave a polite nod.

"Arthur, is there anything you would like to say?" Merlin asked. He gave a formal bow to the man.

Percival stood. "This is unexpected, but I will stand true. I would like an individual meeting with every agent before you return to your home location. Dismissed."

Eggsy leaned over, "Harry," he began but Harry just shook his head and walked away. He looked up to Merlin who was watching him, with an odd expression. Eggsy could only give a helpless shrug and Merlin gave a small nod and left. Eggsy looked about the room and realized that he and Percival were left alone. "Sir," Eggsy said and stood.

"No, we need to talk," Percival replied, "Sit."

Eggsy sat back down and they looked at each other.

"Have you and Roxy talked about me at length?"

"No, sir," Eggsy said.

"You've read my files?" Eggsy had to shake his head no. "Do you even know my birth name?" Another shake of his head. Percival leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "So why did you do that? We all knew you would nominate Harry, why the change?"

"I can't tell you."

"I am afraid I have to make it an order," his voice was mild, there was barely a change in inflection, but Eggsy shivered. The leashed power radiating off the man was insane. "Because you know nothing about me, and now have entrusted me with the fate of the world. A hard burden to lay at a stranger's feet. You trust me so much with you life?"

"He does," Eggsy said.

"Who?" Percival was watching him, like he could peer inside him, pull him apart and reshape Eggsy into the answer he wanted. "Merlin? He was in the bag for Harry. For his own ends admittedly, but still."

Eggsy shook his head. He rubbed his stomach a little bit.

Percival leaned forward and gave a smile that fucking terrified Eggsy. "Oh, you mean him."

"I don't mean nothing," Eggsy said quickly. He heard a noise, a dog he thought, howling, growling. A deep noise that froze the blood in his veins.

**So perfectly bound together, a single unit, so shiny. Can we be them? Please?**

Eggsy watched in horror as a tentacle slid out of his stomach and across the table. He hoped it was like at the pool and Percival wouldn't see it. That the Kraken was just being his usual shit self. Eggsy watched the tentacle move across the table and realized he shouldn't be randomly looking at the table but at Percival or he'd think something was up. "So, uh, I'm gonna go?" was all he could come up with. He rubbed his stomach and tried to hide pinching the tentacle. "Upset stomach."

Percival reached a hand out and Eggsy thought they were going to shake and he could get gone and spend a few hours screaming at Krakkie for fucking things up.

But Percival lay his hand on the table right over the Kraken tentacle. "It is my pleasure to meet you," he said.

**Likewise**

"What the fuck, I didn't say that," Eggsy said as the word likewise came out of his mouth. "Oh my god, what the fuck?"

Percival smiled and his eyes glowed and there was that howl again. "You figured it out, already?"

"Figured what out?" Eggsy squeaked.

"The secret. It isn't that we need to keep them chained, it is that we accept them and utterly set them free inside ourselves." Percival looked at him. "Don't carry the monster. Become the monster."

The tentacle reached out and Percival pet it.

"Jesus fucking christ, how did I think Harry was the baddass of the Kingsman?" Eggsy breathed out.

"I don't know, but we need to go to the room together I think," Percival said.

"Yeah, I think we do," Eggsy said. "You really scare me right now."

There was that howl again and did his best not to piss his pants.

**Playdate!**

"What the fuck have I done?" Eggsy asked.

"Something interesting. Something dangerous," Percival replied. "Let's go ask Merlin where the room is." He left the meeting room and it took a slap from the Kraken's tentacle to get Eggsy to follow.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has consentacles and a big giant ghost dog fucking percival

Merlin didn't want to talk to them, but with Percival now being Arthur he also couldn't slam the door in their faces. "Harry has gone home, and requests forty eight hours off," he said, both frigid and blazing at the same time.

"Granted," Percival said immediately.

"Are we done?" Merlin asked.

"You and I will need a meeting tomorrow," Percival was polite but firm. The Kraken was practically purring and Eggsy could hear that howl again, but it seemed Merlin didn't.

"Fine," Merlin began to close his door.

"Where's the room?" Eggsy asked quickly.

"Go outside and in the side garden door on the east face," Merlin said and shut his door and locked it.

"That's a new one," Eggsy said. "Merlin said I'm the only who has gone back in."

"I have gone back in like this, but I've been close to it. Beside it?" Percival said. "Hard to explain in the daylight." They were outside and walking around the building and when they went down the few steps and opened the door, there were a few more steps. They kept walking down and down and there was barely any light but every footfall fell true. Eventually they were walking down a hall that just opened and opened and opened until the concrete under their feet became sand and they heard the lap of water.

**Eggsy**

"Yeah, I see the water," Eggsy said, not really worried in the moment about keeping it to his thoughts. That howl echoed into all the space. There were no trees or dunes, no matter which way he turned the world moved so there was always a nice strip of sand and water. "Not getting in though."

**But playdate**

Dear god, the Kraken was almost whining like a toddler. "Playdate with who?"

"Whom," Percival said, "Playdate with whom, and I would imagine with him." 

Eggsy turned and looked at Percival and there was a large dog beside him, sitting politely, his head at Percival's waist. "Who the fuck is that?"

_Who the fuck is that_

"Oi, not right now you creepy voice!" Eggsy shouted up at the sky. "Bit busy without your bullshit."

"This is the Black Dog of England," Percival said and scratched his head and the dog leaned heavily against him. Both their eyes glowed the same colour.

"My gran had stories, ones from her Gran from the country. You saw that dog, you were dead," Eggsy shivered.

"Not always, sometimes he offers safe passage in the dark, but he is a ghost, a shadow."

"A shadow of what?"

"Of death," Percival replied. He reached into a pocket and pulled out a bone. It looked like a human femur. "Fetch," he said and threw it and the dog bounded after. "Let yours free, Eggsy. It is safe in here."

"You said you haven't been back, how are you sure."

"When I let him...fill me, I turn into shadow as well, it is how I get in position and never am noticed after. I see a place out of the corner of my eye. It isn't the room, but I guess an anteroom? We have spent time there when we had to hide."

"And you just let him free?"

"Dogs like to run Eggsy," Percival chided.

**And I like to swim**

"I don't know how to let him out," Eggsy said. "Won't it like kill me or something?"

"Not in here," Percival replied. "Go to the water's edge and empty yourself."

"I'm not pissing into the ocean of the eternal void," Eggsy said and made a face.

Percival laughed and Eggsy was a little charmed. "No, picture where he rests in you, picture it as empty, think of how you felt before you were chosen." The Black Dog had returned the bone and this time when Percival threw it, it was a human skull. Eggsy went to the water's edge and put his feet in it, shoes and all. He sat in the sand and tried to picture what Percival said but it didn't feel quite right, not for them. He sort of tapped his stomach.

"Oi, go on then, have a nice swim." He watched the first tentacle slide out and then another and another and holy fuck it seemed to take forever. An endless night for the endless creature that was inside him but eventually all of the Kraken was in the water. Out of him. He did feel an emptiness under his ribcage. He got used to the weight of the creature in him, he had realized. "Hey do you feel weird when you are apart?"

"I do," Percival said and this time it was a rib that flew through the air. "21 years we've been together now. I couldn't understand why he chose me. Still don't fully."

"He don't talk to you?"

"It is a dog's thoughts, so more instinct? Hungry, angry, happy," Percival smiled as the Black Dog ran and tackled him. "Hello, Pet," he said and laughed when he was licked, the tongue huge and covering his face easily. "Yes, you are happy. Go play." The Black Dog ran to the water's edge and barked when a tentacle rose up. The two of them watched as the Black Dog ran into the water a bit and jumped over the moving tentacles.

"They are playing," Eggsy realized.

"So that's the Kraken then, yes?"

"Yup, Krakkie's a right proper troll," Eggsy agreed. "He was also damned insistent that Harry would be terrifying and wrong as our boss, and that you were right."

"Now that is very interesting," Percival said and then was clearly thinking. "To his own ends, because I am free with my monster? Or did he honestly believe that?"

"I think it might be both yeah? I mean he does better with you in charge, because with Harry I could never admit that maybe I haven't exactly mentally kept him as chained as I was supposed to?"

_No chains in you two_

"Yeah, yeah, we know!" Eggsy flipped off the sky.

"You are rather irreverent with the gods."

"Is that who they are?" Eggsy shrugged. "Whatever. When did you first unchain yours?"

"About four years in," Percival said and was smiling at the dog frolicking. "There was a mission going horribly wrong and I would have died, which wouldn't have bothered me, but he whined inside me. And I realized he was sad. I was sure it was sad because then he'd return to the nothing that they all wait in, but the whine continued and I realized that he was sad about me, and I let go. We slid into shadow and I ran, ran faster than I ever had before, not having to worry about walls and doors and we got out. And he didn't object when I started to lock him in my mind again, because he was so happy I was alive. They are monstrous Eggsy, but in that moment I realized that it doesn't mean that they don't feel."

"So when did you two start fucking?" Eggsy asked eager for an answer to that one. It felt like the whole world went still. Even that voice didn't ring out.

"I'm sorry?" Percival looked at him in shock. "I think maybe the waves swept your words away."

"You and your monster have done it, right?"

"...no..." Percival looked at The Black Dog, The Kraken, and Eggsy, his gaze never figuring out where to land. "You want me to fuck a dog?"

"I think maybe they like to do the fucking," Eggsy said. 

"Have you had sex with the Kraken?"

"I feel like you are kink shaming me right now," Eggsy said.

"Well you let the Kraken fuck you, so yes, you know what a little kink shaming is in order," Percival said. "Really?"

"We haven't actually fuck fucked, just hand job, and I've maybe sucked on a tentacle a little bit. It's weird and intense and just feels vital to creating a connection. Krakkie said you two felt like one being, guess I figured that was a part of it." Eggsy's cheeks were blazing.

_It is_

Eggsy looked at the sky, "It is?"

_It is_

"Why?" Percival asked. "Why is that it? Is that what I've been missing?"

_Is that what I've been missing_

Percival frowned and Eggsy laughed a little, "The voice likes doing that." They heard a huge splash and saw that a tentacle had splashed down hard and splatter the Black Dog. The Black Dog shook it off and then seemed to grow even larger and growled and dove a little deeper and clearly was gnawing at a tentacle.

"Here," Percival ordered. Another tug was given to the tentacle and the dog hurried over to Percival still larger, bigger than Percival. He dripped down and then flopped over Percival's legs and Percival groaned. "Here you weigh more," he said and shoved the dog but he wouldn't move. He managed to splay his legs so that the dog fell in between and the dog immediately licked at the crotch of his trousers. "Excuse me," he said sharply and the dog hung his head and gave him the most soulful eyes ever. "Yes, I know that you've tried that before, but -" 

"I've been thinking about it. He told me that it was just to help me sleep, but come on, no way was that it. Because it just doesn't make sense, why would sex be of interest to them at all?"

_Why would sex be of interest to them at all_

Eggsy ignored that, "Because Krakkie there, he likes me, and still a bit terrifying, but he's also looking out for himself. Every time we come here he gets stronger."

**We should come here more**

The Kraken's head had raised and it's eyes stared at them from a decent distance as its tentacles were still in the shallows. One reached out and wrapped around Eggsy's ankle.

"You've kept him unchained from the beginning, why?" This was of the most importance to Percival.

"I figured it was all a mistake? Or temporary, me having this sort of power, so fuck it right? I'm dead anyways, why hold him back?" Eggsy shrugged.

_Why hold him back_

"Am I holding you back?" Percival pet the Black Dog's head. "I thought we were pretty much a unit at this point." He scritched behind the giant ears and the Black Dog made the cutest rumble in his throat.

Eggsy blinked as the thought slowly formed. "Sex is life," he said.

"I'm sorry?"

"Sex is life, the start of life, its what makes it happen," Eggsy said. "Oh, these are all creatures that take life. They kill they destroy. They never ever create. Oh and that hurts them doesn't it?"

_Doesn't it_

Percival thought he was close to understanding but not as close as Eggsy, "you are the most empathetic knight to sit at the table. You shouldn't have made it through. Not with that trait."

"Well here we are," Eggsy said, "and we gotta live with me giving a fuck about the monsters inside us."

Percival looked at the Black Dog, "I give a fuck about you," he told him earnestly and when the Black Dog licked at the crotch of his trousers again he didn't stop him. "Sex is life?"

_Sex is life_

Eggsy reached down to the tentacle at his ankle and picked it up and brought it to his lips and sucked at the tip for a moment. And for a moment the sun came out on the beach before it was back to night. "This room is a gift, and none of you have ever said thank you, properly have you?"

"I -" Percival went quiet. 

Eggsy looked up, "Thank you, yeah, I appreciate it."

_You're welcome_

Percival rubbed his dog's forehead and then pressed his own against it. "You have been my companion for so long now. I'd rather lose a limb than lose you." He dropped a gentle kiss. "Thank you," he told the Black Dog. "Thank you for the gift you bestowed on me," he said more generally to the space they were in.

_You're welcome_

**Sex now**

"How strong is doing it in here going to make you Krakkie?" Eggsy asked staring out into the water. "You going to eat me whole, leave just an Eggsy suit that you pilot about?"

**I like you, I destroy worlds, but I'll never destroy you**

"Just a quick question, with this line of reasoning," Percival coughed, "Sex is life, having sex with us creates a final connection, I can see that. But point of concern - this will in no way breed human monster hybrid spawn somehow correct?" He rolled his eyes when it was clear The Black Dog was laughing at him. And then it felt like the whole room, the universe was laughing at him. "Look I watch horror movies, monster fucking does generally create more problems than solutions."

_This ain't that kind of movie, bruv_

"Hey, that's my line," Eggsy said. "We're...we do this, it gives them a bit of a soul doesn't it?" he asked the room.

_Doesn't it_

"We give them space in our bodies, in our minds, and some like us give them freedom, but this? Gives them us. Properly us. Let's them create in a way they haven't before? This all sounds crazy."

"Eggsy we carry monsters in us, it all sounds crazy, but as close as we are, there was always something missing. Just one little piece of the puzzle that I could never find." Percival began to strip down and the Black Dog began to run in circles.

"What are you doing?"

_What are you doing_

"I'm doing as you suggested," Percival replied. He stood and off came shoes, trousers, and pants. He was there naked except his Kingsman watch and the Black Dog was running around him in circles clearly happy as could be with the way he was jumping about.

**His puny tentacle is bigger than yours**

"I'm not looking!" Eggsy shouted at the Kraken.

"It doesn't bother me," Percival said.

"It should," Eggsy kept staring at the water and didn't get undressed.

"Why?"

_Why_

"Sex is private," Eggsy said.

"Oh dear, shall I be punished for the public orgies I've been to?" Percival wasn't vocally laughing at Eggsy but it could be felt.

Eggsy turned to him, stunned, "You've...you've...you're pulling my leg."

"No," Percival said. The Black Dog rammed his head into Percival's stomach, "Easy there, Pet," Percival said and stroked his back. "Are you staying this large for this?" There was a woof and he shrunk back down, though not all the way down. 

**Let me pull something**

"Your monster seems to be rather...is it odd to call a creature such as the Kraken a shit?"

"Not if it bloody fits," Eggsy said. "Hey room, can you like make separate spaces for us?" There was just that unsettling giggle. "Guess we are doing this huh?" Eggsy started to get undressed and out of the corner of his eye watched the Black Dog start to lick Percival all over and okay yeah Percival was pretty hung. If Merlin wasn't taking up all his fantasy space there'd be a dream or two about Percival.

**More skin**

Eggsy pinched the tentacle that was trying to pull his trousers down. "Give me a fucking second," he said.

**I'll give you a fucking**

Percival started laughing and Eggsy had to admit it was a pretty adorable giggle, "I'm rather glad mine doesn't talk, that'd be a nightmare, more than the emotions I get flooded with."

"Yeah but I bet yours has had you chasing a squirrel or something."

Percival stopped laughing, "I admit nothing." He made a sound when the Black Dog knocked him over and the startled noise became a groan when the Black Dog started to do what he had been waiting for, for years.

**US Too**

"Yeah I know," Eggsy said and finished undressing. He went to the water's edge and soon there were three different tentacles wrapped around him. "Hey, Krakkie," he said softly and leaned in when one started to stroke his cheek. "This is the problem isn't it, with Harry, with the others? Chaining them, makes them mad."

**His was already mad**

"But it made it worse yeah?" Eggsy nodded. "All the agents are hurting and don't even realize it."

"We'll fix it," Percival said between moans and shaky breaths. "We'll get this all figured out and we'll make it work better."

_We'll make it work better_

"And it starts here, with us, two people getting fucked by monsters," Eggsy said. He sank to his knees in the water. "Is lube a factor or are things magical enough we ain't gonna hurt?"

_Things are magical enough we ain't gonna hurt_

"Thanks," Eggsy sighed as one of the tentacles began to stroke his cock. He brought one to his mouth and began to suck the tip in earnest and it was a bit different than last time because with him being fully outside there wasn't quite the same emotional feedback loop; it was there but more muted.

**Yes**

Eggsy stroked the tentacle as he sucked on it and fuck but this was feeling good. The water was warm that he was kneeling in and the tentacles were cool and one was using its suction cups on his arse to interesting effect.

"You look like you would enjoy a spanking," Percival commented.

"Oi, I am trying to pretend I'm alone with my monster, makes the mood more romantic."

"My apolo-okay that feels..." Percival couldn't finish the sentence and Eggsy couldn't stop himself from looking over and saw that Percival was on his hands and knees and the Black Dog was licking his arse. Fuck Percival was fit. His brain started to supply the visual of Merlin on his hands on and knees waiting for Eggsy and the Kraken and he was knocked flat on his back at the way the Kraken surged forward.

**Yes that. We want that**

"That is so not going to be on the table," Eggsy told him. "Krakkie, Merlin is just spank bank material." The tentacles were crawling all over him as the Kraken came closer. Two moved him up the beach a little bit more and then held his arms down, it hurt but in a delicious way. "Maybe you had a point about the spanking," Eggsy called over.

_Maybe you had a point about the spanking_

"Enjoying the show?" Eggsy shouted.

"I am," Percival replied.

_We are_

Eggsy decided fuck it and turned to watch Percival and the Black Dog and it was a weird mix of a turn off and completely hot and weird but no weirder than what he was doing and he gasped when a tentacle began to push against his hole. "Just go easy, Krakkie," he asked.

**More**

"Take whatever you need," Eggsy said and the tip of the tentacle pushed into him as another stroked his hard cock. He felt so many sensations, and touches everywhere, the advantage to so many appendages and when nudged at his mouth he began to suck again, taking it as far into his mouth as he could. He couldn't quite deep throat but The Kraken didn't seem to mind. The tentacle moved in his arse pushing a little deeper and from the snarls and groans he was hearing he guessed that they were a bit further along than he and the Kraken

**So we catch up**

"What the -" Eggsy started to say and then he shouted when one of the suction cups on the tentacle pressed against his prostate and then pulled off. "FUCCCCCCKKKKK!" he shouted. He had no idea if he never wanted that to happen again or wanted it to happen immediately. The tentacle went back to it's motion and pushed back into his mouth as well. He heard noise and turned his head. Percival had been rather thoroughly mounted and each push of the Black Dog was moving them on the sand a little. The Kraken had Eggsy's arms spread out as they were held down and he opened his fingers. A few minutes later Percival's wrapped around his and Eggsy squeezed. It was nice to have someone to hang onto during all this.

It was getting so overwhelming as the tentacle pushed a little more into him and another pulled at his cock. He kept sucking on the one and he realized that another tentacle was holding the Black Dog's tail, they were a circle. A strange little unit in the moment.

"I see the advantage of a monster with that many appendages," Percival said. He reached for his own cock and began to wank and the Black Dog all of a sudden howled as he came in his host. Percival cursed when he spilled into the sand a few minutes later, and then he flopped down, the weight of the dog holding him in place. He still held Eggsy's hand as the Black Dog licked at his neck. "Better...better than I expected."

He rubbed his thumb over Eggsy's wrist and Eggsy would have responded but if he even suggested that the tentacle would leave his mouth the grip on his cock tightened painfully, so he kept licking and sucking and the Kraken had pushed as much tentacle as it could into Eggsy's arse and every drag thrummed against his prostate and then a suction cup pressed and released over the tip of his cock and Eggsy was done. He almost blacked out as he orgasmed all over the tentacle. 

**Perfect**

The tentacle dropped out of his mouth. "Was it good for you?" he asked

_Was it good for you_

His wrists were released and he rolled to face Percival and he wrapped a bunch of the tentacles in his arms in a hug, "Yeah, it was," Eggsy said.

"It was," Percival agreed. The Black Dog woofed and licked some more.

Both men fell asleep. When they awoke they were dressed and just lying in a hall and could feel the monsters were residing in them again.

"It's different," Percival said quietly.

Eggsy pressed a hand to his stomach and a tentacle reached up and hugged the hand. "Yeah, I think it is." He pointed and Percival looked down and he could see the shape of his dog. The tentacle wrapped around Eggsy's torso and the tip dangled over his shoulder. "Huh," Eggsy said.

Percival rubbed the Black Dog's head and they both heard the woof. "I suppose we should go see if anyone notices?"

"Merlin's going to kill us." Eggs was sure of this.

They went up and ran into Lamorak who gave them a jaunty wave on his way to the gym and didn't make any comment. Percival lead them Roxy's office and knocked on her door.

"Come in," she called and looked up at them. "Hiya, Eggsy did not expect that."

"Yeah well, I love Harry, but I think Percival is a better Arthur." 

"The best," she said certain. "Did you want to have your meeting with me?"

"In about an hour if you are free, Lancelot."

"Of course, Arthur," she was beaming as she said it.

Percival guided Eggsy out. "Two didn't notice, neither of whom have ever unchained their creature."

"So we gotta find Harry?"

"He's off and we'll not disturb him." The looked at each other.

"Well, let's get it over with," Eggsy said. "You've seen that something is incredibly fucked up about Merlin yeah?"

"I have," Percival said. "But it is hard to hold onto, to put the pieces together."

**Don't try**

"Krakkie doesn't want us to put that together."

"I will take that under advisement," Percival said. "The Black Dog is always a mix of happy and scared when we talk to Merlin. He wants to show up, sits at attention but also doesn't want to be seen." Percival smiled a little, "Which is funny because he is a ghost." There was a woof and a bump and Percival gave a few more pets.

They went to Merlin's office. "Merlin? Please?" Eggsy said when he knocked on the door. There was no answer. "I'm sorry, I am, but swear down there were real good reasons." He paused. "Okay there was like one good reason? But it was a really really good one." Still nothing. "Come on, Merlin, this is important and about work."

**He's at the gym**

"You could have bloody said you felt that he was in the gym," Eggsy pinched the tentacle around him.

**hehehe**

"Asshole," Eggsy said and they walked to the gym where Merlin was lifting weights. Shirtless. "How is that fair?" Eggsy said.

**Want**

"You and me both, buddy," Eggsy replied. He and Percival walked closer to Merlin.

He looked at them in the mirror. "No dogs in the gym," he said.

"Well, then," Percival said. 

Merlin frowned, "I have no idea why I said that." He put the weights down and looked at them. "There's no dog in here."

"You sure?"

"Of course," Merlin replied. "You have something on your shoulder, Eggsy."

"Do I?"

"No," Merlin answered. He pinched the bridge of the nose. "Why did ye change the room?"

"The room itself is changed?" Percival pressed.

"The world is changed," Merlin answered.

"Maybe it needed changing, Merlin," Eggsy replied. He reached forward and put a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "We..."

"Don't," Merlin said, "I have an incredible headache and I'm tired and you created another paradox in me, and I contain too many universes to deal with that shit and my best friend in strop because he didn't get the job he barely wanted."

"Merlin," Percival went over and hugged him and the Black Dog leaned against Merlin.

Eggsy added himself to the hug and the Kraken sort of stroked the sweat on his shoulder.

**Sorry**

"We're sorry," Eggsy said.

"Okay," Merlin said and leaned into the hugs. "You two feel different."

"You have no fucking idea," Eggsy said.

"I probably do, but can't open that file until I absolutely have to."

"Merlin, what the fuck are you?" Eggsy asked.

**Not now**

"Listen to him, not now," Merlin said.

"Eggsy take him out to dinner, would you?" Percival suggested. "I think Merlin needs a night off."

"Sure," Eggsy said. "Go shower, Merlin and I'll buy you a pizza."

"I would like that."

"Good. Eggsy, I trust were are working towards similar goals and can rely on each other from here on out?" Percival asked.

"Yeah, Arthur. I got your back," Eggsy swore and he winked at the Black Dog who bounced a little.

"Enjoy your dinner."

Eggsy went sat on the bench and waited while Merlin showered, petting the tentacle on his shoulder. When Merlin came out, Eggsy took his hand as they walked. Eggsy wondered if he could feel the tentacle resting on top of their joined hands.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned!!!! sorry for the long hiatus.

“So uh, where do you want to go for dinner?” Eggsy asked.

**Our place, let’s have him for dinner** , krakkie begged and Eggsy pinched his stomach hard.

“Are ye alright?” Merlin asked noticing the gesture.

“Fine, stomach just feels like my throat’s been cut,” Eggsy said.

“Interesting, is that what hunger feels like?”

“Everyone’s been hungry at some point, bruv,” Eggsy replied. “You telling me working you never missed a meal?”

“I don’t hunger, food is a novelty not a requirement,” Merlin explained.

“What the fuck?” Eggsy stared at him.

“You don’t like thai, I can be happy with whatever,” Merlin shrugged.

“You said -”

**Let it go, let it goooooooo**

_ Oi how much do you expect me to ignore? _

“Eggsy, what about curry chips at the pub down the lane from the tailor shop?” Merlin asked.

“Yeah, that works for me,” Eggsy agreed. They went to the pub and grabbed a pint and put in their food order and sat down. He looked at Merlin. “So...how’s things?” Eggsy asked and then just sighed. “You know I used to be able to flirt.”

“Do ye know? Your NLP training suggests otherwise,” Merlin smirked a little.

“Flirting for work is weird,” Eggsy said, “too many balls in the air.”

**He should play with your balls,** krakkie snickered and Eggsy did his best to ignore it.

“You go to the bar, the club, you chat up a girl or a bloke, and maybe you get somewhere, maybe you don’t. But with work flirting, there is more pressure yeah? Fate of the world and all that shit. Throws me off my game. I’ll do it if I have to, but never going to be my strength.”

“Harry can seduce someone with a quirk of his brow,” Merlin replied.

Eggsy made a face and something felt icky in his stomach, and it wasn’t krakkie. “He seduce you, ever with a quirk of his brow?”

Merlin shook his head. “I am gay.”

Eggsy tried to process that. “Okay? And Harry isn’t because so calling bullshit on that.”

“Oi, order’s up,” the bartender called and Merlin went over and got their plates. 

“I like curry chips,” Merlin said happily and dug in.

“Even though you are never really hungry,” Eggsy added.

“Aye,” Merlin nodded and ate more. “And Harry is bisexual.”

“And you are the sort of arse who is going to not fuck someone for that?”

“One, I seldom fuck, and two no, but he has a woman in him, turns me off,” Merlin replied and he was done his food, and Eggsy’s completely uneaten when Merlin looked up. “Eggsy? Did they get your order wrong, you should have said.”’

“I don’t know which part of that to process,” Eggsy said after a moment. “Are you ace?”

“No, I just don’t go out enough to meet people to fuck. And I scare civilians.”

**You don’t scare us.**

“You don’t scare me,” Eggsy said and began to eat his cold food. “Harry’s monster is a woman?”

Merlin laughed, “How would I know, Eggsy?” He shook his head in affection. “I am plenty clever, and an excellent construct, but no matter what my agents believe, I don’t know everything.”

“Construct?”

“Construct what?” Merlin replied in confusion.

“You said…” Eggsy bit his tongue. “You aren’t just an excellent quartermaster, you are the guv.”

“That is high praise,” Merlin said. He frowned, “Eggsy something is reaching for your pint.”

**I like beer** .

Well know that was by far the most terrifying thought krakkie had ever projected in his head to date. He squeezed the base of the tentacle and it wrapped back around his arm, even as he grumbled in Eggsy’s head. Eggsy reached and took a pull of his beer and by the time he had put the glass down, it was clear that Merlin had forgotten whatever he thought he had seen.

“Now, Eggsy, how are your mum and sister doing?” Merlin asked.

Eggsy smiled and happily talked about his family and from there it felt like a normal night out with a mate, albeit one he kind of wanted to shag. They talked of mundane things and krakkie kept trying to convince Eggsy to make a larger move, to flirt more, to knock Merlin out so they could tie him up in their bed. “Be right back, yeah?” When Merlin nodded, Eggsy headed back to the bog and set the sink running, cold water and plunged his hands in.

**Wooo, dessert, best mortal ever** .

“You need to cool it, yeah?” Eggsy hissed.

**I am cool, feel the water?**

“Fuck off, you know what I mean. You can’t think these things about him. They are distracting me too much. So just quiet down okay?” He watched a few of the tentacles swirl a bit in the water. “He never gets to pretend to be human, let him have this yeah? And that includes real first date stuff with talking and smiling and not jumping into a bed.”

**He’s human** .

“Yeah, sure,” Eggsy said. “He’s totally and completely human, there is absolutely nothing weird going on there.” He rolled his eyes and another man came into the bog and he turned the water off and dried his hands. As he walked back to the table, he saw Merlin sitting still. And not a still like a calm person, but this unfathomable stillness. He wondered if the man was even breathing. Eggsy watched a couple about to sit at the table next to Merlin and they froze and went to the other end of the bar.  _ Tell me again how he is human _ .

**He is. So are you.**

And Eggsy realized that okay, maybe he was human, and just had more going on. And as much as he wanted to pull at that thread, he wanted to make Merlin smile. That was it, just make the man smile because he had a fun time tonight.

**His smile builds worlds** .

Eggsy didn’t know if that was a metaphor or an actual thing, but he didn’t really care. He went to the table and sat down. “So another pint, go to a movie?”

“Can we go somewhere up high? I want to see London.”

“Sure,” Eggsy agreed and did a quick google. The Eye was still running for a while and they headed over. Eggsy paid a stupid amount for tickets so they could have the car to themselves. As they rose, Merlin reached out and Eggsy took his hand, and krakkie’s tentacle wrapped around both their fingers. “What do you see, Merlin?” Eggsy was desperately curious.

“London,” Merlin replied.

Well that was a letdown and krakkie was giggling in his brain. “I thought you’d say something poetic.”

“If you like,” Merlin replied. “There was a roman soldier once. He died right...there,” Merlin pointed down and to the right, to an area Eggsy couldn’t quite make you. “Over there?” he gestured, “Over there a whore wanted to poison a client thinking he was tossing her over. He was going to propose. They both died that night.”

“Something happy?” Eggsy asked. He moved closer and Merlin’s arm rested over his shoulder and krakkie began to twine himself around Merlin.

“There, not quite where you can see. A young man stole an asshole’s care and changed the world. Saved the world. That is a happy thing.”

Eggsy had to smile at that. “One more happy thing.”

“One, more,” Merlin agred. “Here, in this very car, a man kissed a mass that he desperately found attractive and wished to know better.”

“Did they live happily -” Eggsy couldn’t finish the sentence because Merlin’s mouth was against his, and Eggsy sank into the kiss.

**That is what the universe tastes like, that is what the ocean tastes like.**

Eggsy thought it just tasted like a mouth, with a hint of dinner. But it was a brilliant kiss. They slowly pulled apart and watched the view as they came down. “Just one more happy thing?”

Merlin’s laugh was low. “Somewhere out there, someone just fell in love.”

**Please can we fuck?**

“Not tonight,” Merlin answered krakkie and both Eggsy and the monster inside him froze. “I need to run analysis to make sure we don’t destroy worlds, no matter how much you would enjoy that.”

**Meanie**

“Behave,” Merlin warned and Eggsy swore that krakkie felt honest to god chastised. Merlin shook his head. “Sorry, must have said my thoughts aloud. Can’t even remember why I said that.”

“It’s okay,” Eggsy said. “Happens to us all.”

“This was good,” Merlin said when they stepped out of the car.

“It was.”

“We will go out again?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy agreed. “Definitely.”

“Good.” 

They parted ways and Eggsy went back to his flat and he and krakkie had a furious wank because saying not tonight, meant Merlin was very interested in future sex with them.

**I get to top first** .

“Just chill the fuck out,” Eggsy replied and decided to distract krakkie by sucking at a tentacle and sure enough there was no more noise in his head that night.


	7. Chapter 7

They barely made it to the plane. Krakkie was screaming inside him, almost crying and Eggsy was hurting. The mission had been too close and hurt them both too much. It had all started fine, they had been in Italy, and then the bastards had rabbited, and he had given chase. Arthur had suggested that he return home and they would reassess, but this had been his job and he could do it dammit. Only they had ended up in Egypt and in the sand and desert for over a week before the situation was dealt with and the man caught. It had been a hard fight, and Krakkie had wanted to help but was just too parched under the sun and trying to cope with the bottles of lukewarm water and canteens they managed to find.

Eggsy was going to be hurting for days and he had no idea what was going on with krakkie the guy was barely talking. “Don’t worry, shower soon,” he promised. “Nice and cold water pouring over us.”

**Hurting**

“I know, I know little one,” Eggsy said and rubbed his stomach. 

**Big. Huge. Monster**

“I know you are big and huge, hugest ever,” Eggsy whispered and was almost crawling to the bathroom on the plane while the pilot got them ready to go. “Not a monster though. Not for me. Second we’re in the air, will be under the water.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” the pilot called out, “but the tank is dry. We had a leak and in order to be able to leave quickly I decided to just empty it rather than try to repair it. We are a less than 6 hour flight from home. Really sorry. Have some bottled water, imagine you are parched.”

“Parched, yeah, a bit,” Eggsy agreed and stumbled to the small fridge. Four. There were four small bottles of water there. He grabbed all four and went to the bedroom. Once they were in the air he took off all his clothes and lay down on the bed. He poured the four bottles over himself and the water that slid off of him wet the sheet below him, it would get clammy and gross soon but help krakkie, better than if it went down the drain. “All I have, baby.”

**Not enough**

Eggsy pooled a bit of the water on his stomach and rubbed his hand through it. “I know, but we need to hold on. Just a few more hours okay?” A tentacle hooked around his hand, barely there in a way that was like before they were fully bonded. “Oh little one, just hang on for me okay?”

**You’re little**

“I know, I’m sorry. My big scary monster,” Eggsy soothed and stroked that tentacle and tapped the side of his glasses. “Arthur, remind me to listen to you in the future.”

“My puppy is very worried about krakkie.”

**Friend. Want my friend**

“Shh, I know you want your friend, buddy. Soon, soon,” Eggsy promised. “No water on the plane, sir.”

“Fuck.”

It was said so flatly, that Eggsy had to laugh. “Sounds weird when you swear, sir.”

“Are you two okay?”

“No, god can we just jump out of the parachute into the Channel?”

**Please yes**

“No, krakkie, that’s a dumb idea.”

**You’re a dumb idea**

“Oh, dear,” Percival replied. “I’ll have a recovery situation ready for you at the estate. I’ll meet you at the plane. The puppy is freaking out and won’t wait a second longer than he has to, to see his friend.”

“Thanks, Arthur. I didn’t...I can’t be this far from water again,” Eggsy said.

“Understood. Try to doze, it will make the time go faster.”

Eggsy tapped his glasses off. “Little one, can you manifest a tentacle a little longer?” A tentacle slowly emerged, and looked thinner, paler than it should. Eggsy stroked the bit of water still there over it and rolled so the tentacle was between him and the damp sheets. “Going to suck you a bit, okay?”

**No sex**

“No, little one, about comfort, not sex. Promise.” Eggsy put the tip of the tentacle in his mouth and just let it rest there as he stroked the appendage. He thought about oceans and rivers and knew the saliva in his mouth was not helpful with how parched they were but it was better than nothing. He eventually sank down, half asleep and prayed the plane would go a little faster.

He felt dizzy and nauseous and like utter rubbish when they landed at the estate. He didn’t even think he could stand up. The tentacle was gone and he blinked. “Krakkie?”

**….**

“Hang on buddy, we’re home, We’re home. I’ll get you in water in a second,” he promised but he couldn’t get his legs to move. “I’ll get you there.” He couldn’t walk, but he could fucking crawl. He managed to get to the bedroom door and open it and started to drag himself through. The pilot came in and stared at him in horror.

“Sir!” The pilot threw open the door. “We need a medic!” he shouted.

Eggsy lay down, moving hurt too much. They had really nice carpet on the plane. He felt a wet tongue against his cheek. “Hiya, doggy.”

**Friend**

“Yeah, your buddy is here, krakkie. Think he can help us up?” Eggsy smiled at the way the ghost dog tried to push him up. “Thanks, anyways, buddy. But we need a little more help than that.”

“Then it is a good thing that he brought me along too, isn’t it?” Percival said. He knelt and hauled Eggsy up. “I have you, agent. I have you krakkie.”

**Friend**

“Yes, I am,” Percival told krakkie and put a hand on Eggsy’s stomach. “And I am so sorry that this happened to you. Our first step is hydrating you two, and if that doesn’t work, we’ll all go into the room and try magic healing cock.”

Eggsy and krakkie both found Percival saying that the funniest thing ever and giggled the whole way to his old candidate room. He could smell the water. “Arthur,” he said and leaned against him. “You are the fucking best.”

“Yes, I know,” Percival replied and opened the door. All the showers were running tepid and had been for a while; the room was damp and lovely, all that moisture just hanging there. “In you go, come on.” He moved them closer to the showers and undressed Eggsy down to the skin and kissed him affectionately. “I am so proud of the two of you, doing the job, through your pain.” The dog licked Eggsy’s hip and then when a weak tentacle slid out the ghost dog licked it as well. Percival stroked the tentacle and nudged them into the water.

It felt so good. No shower had ever felt so good in his life. Eggsy was weeping at how he felt himself almost waking up, coming back alive. Krakkie was weeping too. Eggsy lay down on the ground letting three sprays hit him and the cool and wet tile under his back. Water was hitting his face, choking him a little bit and it felt incredible.

“There you are,” Percival said as tentacles slowly began to emerge from Eggsy. “I’m so sorry, krakkie at the pain you suffered. But you kept the world safe.” He was about to say more, but his monster barked and dove into the water to splash with his friend. “Great, even ghost dogs, still smell like wet dogs.” But he didn’t sound too upset, happy to see his agent and the monster recovering. The tentacles wiggled about and the black dog of England chased them. “Will you need the room?”

“I don’t know, feeling a lot better. We’ll stay under here for a while, though warming it up a bit.”

**No feels good**

“Just a little bit, krakkie, so my balls don’t fall off.”

**Fine**

“Good krakkie,” Percival praised. “You two take all the time you need. Call me on the comms, if you need to go to the room and fuck it out.” He snapped his fingers and his dog whined. “They need to heal, you can play with krakkie later.” The dog nipped at a tentacle and leaned against his human and gave him soulful eyes. “Fine, in my office you can play with my tentacle,” he joked and the ghost dog barked happily.

Percival smiled at Eggsy who was rolling under all the sprays and headed to the door. When he opened it Merlin came flying through. 

“I finished with Gawain. Got here as soon as I could,” Merlin was gasping, he had clearly run over. “I have him.”

“Do you?” Percival asked. “Because that was phrased not quite correctly.”

Merlin reached down and pet the dog he couldn’t see. “I have them,” he promised. 

“Very well,” Percival left them be.

Merlin went over to the showers and saw them rolling around. “I’m so sorry you were hurt like that.”

“Not that hurt,” Eggsy said and lay there and looked up at him. He laughed a bit. “You trying to not look at my junk?” Merlin’s eyes were on the wall on the other side of the room.

“He’s covering you up well enough,” Merlin replied and Eggsy realized that there were three of four tentacles on his lap. “How much pain are you in, baby?”

“I’m fine,” Eggsy said.

“Him, not you. You aren’t my baby,” Merlin said.

**Still hurting but better. I could destroy England**

“That’s good,” Merlin said. He took off his clothes as well and went and sat in the water next to Eggsy. “Soon you’ll be able to destroy worlds, baby.”

**Thank you**

“Merlin?” Eggsy sat up under the spray. “You see him?”

“Of course I do,” Merlin replied. “Rather hard to miss.”

“You couldn’t see him before, not all the way.”

**Water**

“The water shows him well,” Merlin agreed. He reached out and pet a tentacle and krakkie squealed in happiness. “Yes, hello there. I won’t remember this all the way once we’re out of the water and dry will I?”

**No**

“You two open too many doors in my mind, scary ones, that should stay closed.” Merlin tugged at a few tentacles and it brought Eggsy to him and Eggsy sat on his lap. “If this will be a dream to me later, then let it be a good one.”

“How good?” Eggsy asked and cupped Merlin’s face.

“So good, it is very very bad,” Merlin said, a gleam in his eyes.

“Thought you were worried us together might destroy worlds or something,” Eggsy reminded him.

“Then let them fall,” Merlin declared and pulled Eggsy in for a hard kiss.

He still just tasted like mouth to Eggsy but the tentacles were all flailing and wrapping around both of them, pushing them together, touching every bit of Merlin that they could. Eggsy was holding tight as well, scared that this would be his only chance for this. He scraped his nails along Merlin’s back, and sometimes had to push krakkie out of the way. The kisses grew hungry and desperate and Eggsy rocked on Merlin’s lap and felt him grow hard under his arse. 

**More  more more more more more more**

“We have no lube, baby, Eggsy and I will be satisfied like this,” Merlin said and reached out and brought a tentacle to his lips and licked.

**Ohhhhh that’s what stars taste like**

“Baby,” Merlin crooned. “It is so good to feel you.” He looked at Eggsy and smiled. “And even better to feel you.”

“You are going to make him pout,” Eggsy said and kissed a tentacle as well before kissing Merlin again. They sat there under the water, kissing, and touching and felt tentacles slide between them and begin to stroke them both off. It was so good, intense and surreal and everything Eggsy dreamed of. Krakkie kept chanting more and Eggsy had to agree with him. He wanted more.

They both wanted everything. 

Merlin was mouthing at his neck, licking the water off, licking the tentacle there and krakkie’s grip on both their cocks, tightened, the strokes grew faster. Eggsy came first and Merlin followed him quickly over. 

**Yessssss. We keep him. Ours, not the room’s, ours**

“You know it doesn’t work like that,” Merlin chided, his forehead resting on Eggsy’s shoulder and a tentacle. “I belong to the room, to all of you. And you belong to me.”

Eggsy thought maybe, here under the water, after an orgasm maybe he’d get an answer. “Merlin, who are you?”

“I am the stars and the void and everything and nothing.”

**Never ever nothing. Always everything. Home**

“Are you human?”

“Yes,” Merlin said and looked at him. “I am flesh and blood and come and thoughts and feelings. I have to be. Otherwise it doesn’t work.”

“What doesn’t work?” The water shut off and Eggsy screamed in frustration. “No, come on!”

“Timers, when too much water is used,” Merlin laughed a bit. “I’ve designed the system a little too well.” 

“Merlin, who are you?”

“Your quartermaster. Your boyfriend. Your friend.”

“We were so close, can’t you just tell me?” Eggsy kissed him and was relieved when Merlin kissed him back. That that hadn’t just been the water. Krakkie wrapped them both in a tight hug. “Can you still see him, feel him?”

“Like a dream,” Merlin said, and when he pulled away, Eggsy could see the memories already sliding away, altering in his brain. Merlin stood them both up and wrapped them in the flannel sheets on the beds. “Do ye feel better?”

“I do. We can’t go to the desert,” Eggsy said.

“I wasn’t exactly planning a vacation there,” Merlin said.

“Good,” Eggsy felt a little hollow, that Merlin was being forced to forget. Krakkie reached out a tentacle and stroked Merlin’s cheek and for a moment Merlin leaned into the touch. “Will I have you again?”

“You can have me whenever you want,” Merlin promised. “You make me feel alive, fully mortal.”

“You said you were human.”

“Human doesn’t mean mortal,” Merlin replied. “Mortal has lots of meanings.” He began to put on his clothes.

Eggsy dressed as well. “Hey, Merlin, where’s the room right now?”

Merlin looked at him in confusion. “What room?”

**Oops**

Eggsy looked at him. “Not funny. Where’s the room, Merlin?”

Merlin shrugged. “We have many. What room do ye mean?”

**Super oops**

“I…gotta go talk to Arthur,” Eggsy ran out of the candidate room, hearing Merlin calling after him, what room did Eggsy mean.


	8. Chapter 8

Eggsy tore down the halls, bumping into walls along the wall. "This is bad, this is really bad."

**I said oops**

"Oops doesn't exactly cover it," he snapped back, and opened the door to Arthur's office so fast he broke a couple hinges. "Sir," he said gasping. He looked at them. "Oh, you are busy." He assumed busy based on the way the dog was nuzzling at Percival's crotch.

**I wanna play**

"Krakkie you already played, and broke Merlin so maybe we don't be quite such a horny monster?" Eggsy poked at the tentacles that were already reaching towards Percival and his monster. "Oops remember?"

"I do not care for oops and Merlin in the same sentence," Percival said and nudged his ghost dog away, ignoring the whimpers that came from him. He zipped up his trousers and stood up. "What happened."

"We uhh...had some fun and after, well Merlin...he...you see I asked about...and then he...and oops...and we ran here," Eggsy said.

"That was very helpful," Percival said and Eggsy winced. "Let's try this. After you fucked, did Merlin continue to exist?"

"Yes, and we didn't fuck, sort of tentacle hand jobs?" Eggsy smiled at the way the dog barked and wiggled. "Yes we'll go to the room so you and krakkie can play." He paused. "Actually that's the problem. After when it was all fading, when he was forgetting what happened, I asked about the room, and he said what room."

"Oops," Percival replied.

**He gets it**

"This is bigger than an oops innit?" Eggsy asked. "No room seems a lot bigger than oops."

"Well first we need to establish if your dick made a room that holds the greatest monsters mankind has ever dreamed of, that exists in between universes, that was built on the backbone of the big bang, disappear. In which case, we really need to reassess what we use you in the field for, because that is a very impressive dick."

**Eggsy has an excellent puny tentacle**

"Thanks for the love. I don't think my dick destroyed the room. Oh god, what if my dick destroyed the room? What do we do?" Eggsy was ready to panic. He was pretty sure that right now was a very good time to panic.

Percival ignored him for the moment and crouched in front of his monster. "Do you want to play fetch?" The dog grew and was the height of Percival and Percival stood up. "Who wants to play fetch?" The dog wiggled and licked Percival's face. "Fetch the room puppy. Go on, fetch the room."

Eggsy got knocked to the ground when the huge dog ran out of the room and Percival helped him up. "You are making your monster ghost dog fetch the endless void?"

"Do you have a better idea?"

"No, I do not. I am the man who maybe broke the world with his dick." They followed the dog out and through the building, until sure enough in a corner that Eggsy hadn't even known existed there was the black door. "Oh thank you, my dick didn't destroy universes."

"If it had, think of how the porn would have funded our operations for decades."

Eggsy looked at him. "Are you insane?"

Percival smiled, "Why yes, thank you for noticing."

Eggsy snickered and opened the door. The room was a completely empty space. They stood in there and nothing happened. The puppy whined, and a tentacle reached out and touched the walls, but nothing went weird or unsettling.

**Eggsy**

"I know, little one, I'm creeped out too," he promised, and rubbed a soothing hand over a tentacle. "It's the room. We know this. The room is never empty." The both turned slowly but the only thing in there was a light switch. They both stared at it.

"The room is bright but there is not actually lamp, or lighting," Percival pointed out. "So why is there a switch?"

"Have you tried turning it off and on?" Eggsy asked and gave a shaky laugh, truly terrified for the first time in the room. He was oddly relieved that Percival's hand shook as he reached out and turned the switch off. The room went dark. It was a dark that Eggsy had never experienced for, a true black that he couldn't fathom. He hugged himself and was relieved when krakkie hugged him back. 

"Here we go," Percival whispered. He sounded centimetres away, he sounded unbearably far away. He flicked the switch and slowly the darkness leeched out of the room, and light returned.

And there was a couch and a kiddie pool in the middle. "That's good," Eggsy said and went and sat down. Krakkie let several tentacles out and they splashed in the water. The dog barked and shrank himself to the smallest Eggsy had seen him and dove into the small pool meant for toddlers. "Room, are you okay?"

_reloading, please do not shut us off, updates loading. reloading, please do not shut us off, updates loading_

"Well, your dick didn't destroy anything, it overheated the system," Percival laughed a little. "I'd like to point out this is twice now your cock has made things change."

"I'm not making a porn for you," Eggsy said. The walls weren't white anymore. There weren't any colour, they were every colour. "Looks like we're starting to come back online." There was a noise. "Did the room just make the old Windows fire up noise?"

There was a godawful screech. "Lord, it sounds like dial up. That is just cruel."

"I don't remember dial up," Eggsy said.

"Bite me," Percival replied.

Eggsy leaned over and bit his neck. The ghost dog whuffed what was clearly a laugh.

**We bite Merlin not him**

"Just in fun buddy, we ain't going to shag," Eggsy said. "Most would be like last time in here. And hell maybe Merlin could join us."

_Warning, system unsure of that course of action_

"So, Merlin actually coming into the room is a bad idea." _  
_

"Apparently, Merlin coming is a bad idea," Percival pointed out. The room began to change shape around them and they were still on the sofa but now it floated in space and krakkie squealed in delight and slid out of Eggsy to go swimming in the stars. The ghost dog leapt from star to star. "They seem happy. And things are going back to normal."

_Things are never going back to normal_

"Great, just great. My dick did break things." Eggsy slumped on the chair and closed his eyes. He appreciated the hug that Percival gave him. "You shouldn't have give me a monster!" he shouted to the room. "You should have known I was garbage and not given me my best friend."

**I'm your best friend?**

"Oh shut up, you know I love you little one," Eggsy replied.

_little one?_

"Bite me, endless void if you make fun of that."

_bite me endless void if you make fun of that_

"Yes, it seems things are back on track," Percival looked at Eggsy. "The system needed to be rebooted. You overheated it with your passion."

"You are finding this far too funny."

"If I don't, I'll be terrified," Percival said and looked around the room. "Is it dangerous, that they fuck?"

_Is it dangerous, that they fuck_

"That was the wrong question," Percival said after a minute. He was quiet and stared at the monsters playing. "Is it dangerous, that they love?"

"We don't -" Eggsy couldn't finish the sentence, because if he didn't love Merlin at this moment, he knew he would one day. Loving that man was inevitable. Whatever he was.

_We don't know_

Their monsters stopped playing in pure shock.

**You always know**

"You scared krakkie, oh this is just spectacular. You build Merlin and you don't know what will happen if he loves someone who carries one of your monsters?" Eggsy got up and began to pace on the stars, careful to always have one under foot, he didn't think he'd like the fall if he didn't. "You made him."

_He made us_

"Garhhhhhal;dfja;lf!" Eggsy screamed. "This all makes no sense." Every time he thought he was close to an answer the goalposts got moved.

"Chicken and the egg," Percival said.

"What?" Eggsy looked at him.

"Which came first?"

"Chicken," Eggsy said.

"Egg," Percival countered.

**Both. Neither**

"Oh," Eggsy said, getting it. "Did Merlin make the room, or did the room make Merlin? There is no sure answer, because it is all a fucking jumble. But he is human."

_He is human_

"But that can be a lot of things," Eggsy said. "Human frame, but he holds like vastness in him." He was so close to putting it all together. "He called himself a construct. So you constructed him. Made him to hold the room. But he made the actual room itself. Like this actual space - it exists because of him."

_We exist because of him_

"The void, the monsters were always there. He was always there. They were there, he was never there. Fuck I hate metaphysics," Percival said. "His existence made the monsters real. Not just myth. But his existence could only happen because the monsters, the space in between universes existed."

"He said, being with me made him feel mortal. What happens if he weren't just a human construct, but fully mortal, truly properly human?" Eggsy asked.

_We don't know. He has never felt what he feels for you, for krakkie_

**He loves me. I'm special**

The ghost dog whimpered. "He loves you too, puppy," Percival promised. "He just loves you in a different way. A friendly way."

"He's sort of their dad, but not. They exist because of him?" Eggsy shook his head. "I hate this."

 _We love this_.  _We hate this_

"Do you recommend that Eggsy stay away from Merlin?"

**NOOOOOOO**

_Nooooooooo_

"Because everyone deserves life. Everyone deserves love. What we've given krakkie, and the black dog there, Merlin deserves that too. He deserves to be fucking worshipped. No one has before because you built a human, but you built it to call this into existence so it is a really fucked up human that freaks out most people. Oh, he's the same!" Eggsy blinked and thought he put it together. "Full proper sex, gives him that bit of human life and soul that the monsters needed to. And you have no clue what that will cause, what will happen. But you want it for him. Because you love him."

_Because we love him_

"Okay, okay," Eggsy said. "I have to fuck Merlin, or have him fuck me for either the destruction or creation of universes. But either way, it is time, yeah?"

_It is time, yeah_

"Told you, your dick is magic," Percival said.

"No pressure or nothing," Eggsy said and looked down into the black of space where krakkie was swimming around. Several tentacles reached up to him, and Eggsy took a deep breath. "Is it falling or flying?"

"Only way to find out is to jump," Percival said.

_Jump_

**Jump**

Eggsy bent his knees and jumped into the void, into krakkie's tentacles, the black dog's barking echoing in the silence. He felt krakkie wrap around him and they landed with a thud in the room, which was a perfectly normal storage closet, no Percival in sight. "How long did we fall?"

**We flew**

"Okay, well, let's go seduce Merlin, shall we?"

**We shall**

"Having a magic dick, not as exciting as you would think you know," Eggsy pointed out.

**hehehehehe**

Eggsy rolled his eyes and they went to find Merlin.


	9. Chapter 9

Merlin wasn’t in his office, or the gym. The range, nowhere that could be found at the estate. And Eggsy didn’t actually know where the man lived. But he knew someone who might. Someone he had been ignoring because he was scared how mad the man was. But it was time to pull it together.

Eggsy returned to London and went to Harry’s house. He knocked on the door and felt so awkward. There was no answer and he knocked again. He swore he could hear movement and decided fuck it and picked the lock. For a kingsman house it had a really shit lock. “Harry, it’s just me, don’t go all death agent, okay?” 

He didn’t like the silence that met him.

“Harry?” He checked downstairs but there was no sign. The house smelled stale, like windows hadn’t been opened in months. He went upstairs and Harry was in his office just staring at the empty walls.

Wait.

Eggsy went into the room softly and stared. The front pages were torn down, some completely off, others just ripped. “Oh, Harry. I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” Harry had a glass in his hand and smelled not great. Stale like the house. “There is nothing to be sorry for.”

“There is plenty,” Eggsy said. He came over and took the glass away from Harry. “Wine?”

“It comforts what is in me,” Harry replied. He took the glass back and finished it off. He let it drop to the ground where it shattered. Eggsy realized there was a lot of broken glass there.

**He’s breaking. He needs the room**

For the moment, Merlin was forgotten because krakkie was right. “Harry we need to get you to the estate. We need to get you into the room.”

Harry looked at him in horror. “And give her more power? Are you insane? She’s mad.”

**So fucking mad. She needs fucking** .  **I was wrong**

“Wow, okay there is something I never expected.”

“What?” Harry asked.

“My guy admitting he was wrong.” Eggsy sat in Harry’s lap and krakkie made a noise of protest. “Just a hug, little one. Harry and what is inside him need a hug.”

“Your monster is little?” Harry frowned. “Wait, how was I able to tell you that what I carried was a woman?”

“Merlin had already shared it,” Eggsy said. “Guess if he shared, or my monster shared, I can hold the information?” Eggsy cupped Harry’s face. “I’m sorry that I let you down.”

“Why didn’t you choose me?”

“My monster told me that how you and your monster are, it was a bad fit for the job. Because she scares him, and my little one ain’t scared of much.” Eggsy was looking at Harry’s face trying to put the pieces together. “But she isn’t that scary.”

“Yes, she is,” Harry whispered. “I can feel her clawing and my brain. At my soul. And I am scared. Wine quiets her. But she wants and wants.”

**Give then**

“Then maybe you should give her what she needs,” Eggsy suggested. “You have let her almost out, given her a taste of the world, only to yank her back. That is what she claws against. They don’t…” He had to think of it in a way Harry would understand. “You saw potential in me, yeah?”

“It shone out of you,” Harry rested his hands on Eggsy’s thighs. “You were electric with it.”

“And I see the potential in them. In our monsters. When you fully unchain they don’t take over, Harry. They just become more a part of you.”

“And what do you give of yourself to make room for them?”

**Nothing you don’t want to lose**

Eggsy realized how true that was. “Letting my monster fully free? I lost the thing that held me back from loving people. I held back, yeah? Because everyone was going to hurt me.”

“I hurt you.”

“You did, but here I am hugging you. I can bite Percival when he says bite me. I can say I love Merlin without being scared someone will use that to hurt me. The spaces my guy took? I didn’t want them, but had no way of letting them go. Biggest bitch of it is I’m starting to be okay with cold showers, and can’t go to the desert. Which the latter? Not a big loss.” Eggsy leaned against Harry and hugged him tight. He felt krakkie’s tentacles reach out and hug Harry too. He swore he could also hear music coming from Harry, and a seductive pull. It was begging him for sex. “Sorry, my dick is mostly Merlin’s,” he said.

“I don’t particularly want your dick,” Harry said.

“Not you, your monster. She wants dick. You might consider going to the room and fucking her.”

Harry froze under him. “I can’t. You are wrong. She is uncontrollable.”

**Not about control. It’s about love**

“Harry you’ll just tear yourself apart. Break yourself. Just think about it okay?” Eggsy gave him a gentle kiss and krakkie squeezed him. “In the meantime, I want you to shower, and I’ll clean up all the mess.”

Eggsy got up and pulled Harry with him. “We’re going to get you sort and then I’m going to find Merlin and fuck him.”

“That was rather an overshare,” Harry said. “And why do you need to find him, he is always there when you need him.”

“Huh?”

“If you couldn’t find him, you didn’t need him enough.” Harry closed his eyes and just stood there. Soon they heard running footsteps.

“Harry,” Merlin was gasping. “Harry what’s wrong?” He took one look at the man. “Oh, Harry.”

“I can’t, Merlin,” Harry said. “I just can’t.”

“Very well,” Merlin said and went over and pressed his hand to Harry’s heart, “My girl, please give him a rest, it will be sorted. I promise.” It seemed like a weight lifted off of Harry, he was lighter. “There you go, she’ll sleep a bit.”

“Thank you. I think I should come back to the office.”

“That sounds excellent. Percival, well Arthur, wants to talk to you, about your future.”  Harry squeezed Merlin’s shoulder and went to go have a shower. Merlin looked around the room. “Fuck he made a mess.”

“Of the room, or himself?” Eggsy countered.

“That is the question isn’t it?” 

“I was looking for you,” Eggsy moved closer to Merlin. “Couldn’t find you.”

“I am always found in the end.”

Eggsy laughed a bit. “Merlin, we need to fix Harry up a little, but after would you care to come to my flat so krakkie and I can fuck you until you forget your name?”

“I have no name.”

“Okay, can we fuck you until you find a name?”

Merlin smiled at him. “Yes, I think it is time for that, isn’t it?”

Krakkie’s tentacles poured out of Eggsy and wrapped around Merlin tightly.

**Mine**

“Mine,” Eggsy said and pulled Merlin’s head down for a kiss.

“Mine,” Merlin said to both of them.

They began to clean up the room, eager for what would happen when they were done.


	10. Chapter 10

“So…” Eggsy rocked on his heels a bit. “We’re here, in my flat.”

“That feels a bit damp,” Merlin said.

“I run three cold air humidifiers. Krakkie likes it,” Eggsy shrugged.

**Water in the air is good. Get naked now**

“Not the most romantic, there my love,” Merlin said.

**He called me his love first**

“I am never hearing the end of that,” Eggsy muttered, but stroked one of the tentacles that was sliding out of him. “Decades, it is going to be he called me his love first.”

Merlin moved closer. “Thinking in decades?”

“Why the fuck not? Unless of course we destroy the whole universe tonight. Merlin, do you remember the room?”

“Of course I remember the room. It is second floor west wing right now,” Merlin huffed. “How would I forget the room?”

“No reason,” Eggsy said but then couldn’t stop himself from saying, “My dick is magic.”

Merlin just stared at him.

**Dude**

“Okay, one krakkie you don’t say dude. Ever. Never ever,” Eggsy ordered. “And two, yeah that was the wrong thing to say. But to be fair, apparently touching my dick made you forget the existence of a room that carries the limitless void. So you know, magic dick.” Eggsy hung his head and one of krakkie’s tentacles gave him a there there pat.

“To be fair, it was likely the orgasm that did that, more than just the presence of your dick,” Merlin offered.

**The puny tentacle did it. With my help**

“This conversation has got to stop,” Eggsy begged. “Because it is going to kill the mood.”

**Naked**

“You have a very good point baby. Because if we do destroy the universe tonight, then let it be a good destruction.”

**Yessssssssssss**

“Stop encouraging him!” Eggsy said and had to slap krakkie away as krakkie tried to strip him down. “I can do it myself.”

“Or you could let me do it?”

Eggsy let his hands fall to the side and Merlin began to slowly undo the buttons on his shirt. Merlin’s hands were slow, almost cautious. Eggsy didn’t want to use the word scared. Each button was slid through the hole and his fingers caressed the strip of skin that was exposed. It was a soft touch, a questioning one.

“We’re yours, you know,” Eggsy told him. “Whatever happens or doesn’t happen after tonight, we’re yours.”

**Forever** **hehehehe**

“You aren’t so old my love, I can remember before you,” Merlin said. “When there was wilder than you on the ocean floor.”

**You like me best**

“Shh, you can’t let your friends know,” Merlin undid the last button and rested his hand low on Eggsy’s stomach where the tangle of ghostly tentacles poured out. “My beloved.” He looked in Eggsy’s eyes. “My beloveds. Shall we bring about the end.”

Eggsy shook his head, “No we bring about the beginning.”

**Just bring about the puny tentacles**

Merlin pinched a tentacle. “Don’t be impatient. This is important.”

Eggsy pulled the shirt off and krakkie raised a tentacle to Merlin’s face and he could feel the happiness when Merlin kissed the limb. “How without the water do you hear him and see him so well tonight?”

“Because tonight is magic. In this flat a man has died, unnoticed for a week. A marriage broke up just over there. Sisters fought constantly and when the one left for america the other became so lost. A child stopped believing in Santa Claus in this flat. And in this flat, one man, a monster and one construct finished falling in love and changed everything.”

“Is that us?”

“Could it be anyone else?”

**No**

Eggsy and Krakkie both pulled Merlin close. “We’re going to fuck you tonight okay? Another night you can just destroy me. But tonight -”

“I know,” Merlin reassured. “I want.”

“What do you want Merlin?”

Merlin smiled slowly and for a moment his eyes were black and filled with the void stars. “I want you to make me feel mortal.”

Eggsy leaned in and bit Merlin’s lip, and Krakkie’s tentacles went under his jumper. “No tonight, we make you mortal.” With krakkie’s help the jumper was up and oven Merlin’s head in an instant and Eggsy was fast on the shirt buttons though not as fast as krakkie on the belt and pulling the trousers and pants down. A tentacle wrapped around Merlin’s cock.

**Mine**

“Yeah yeah, I’m the one fucking him so you can play as much as you want.” Though Eggsy really wanted to suck it. Krakkie could share dammit and Eggsy sank to his knees. “Share,” Eggsy demanded.

**Then you share too**

“Of course he will,” Merlin crooned and pushed his fingers into Eggsy’s hair. “Let me suck as well, baby.” Eggsy gazed up and saw a tentacle moving towards Merlin’s mouth and when it pressed against lips, Eggsy sank his mouth down Merlin’s cock. The feedback loop was intense because he was happy with the weight against his tongue and he could feel krakkie losing coherency as Merlin pulled the tentacle into his throat and swallowed. Eggsy moved up and down the length, it filled his mouth perfectly and made his jaw ache just a little. 

**Bed**

“I approve of that plan,” Merlin agreed and his hands tugged Eggsy’s hair and he stood up. Eggsy realized his was still wearing trousers, krakkie had only been in a hurry to get Merlin undressed. He stripped down as Merlin lay on the bed and the tentacles extended. He stood there and watched as it went back into Merlin’s mouth and another wrapped around his cock. He let the two of them have their moment because they deserved it and fuck but it was gorgeous watching Merlin come apart under krakkie’s touch. Two more tentacles were pushing his legs apart and Eggsy moved to the get the lube from the drawer as a tentacle pressed against Merlin’s hole.

“Be kind,” Eggsy said.

**I break worlds not the two of you**

“I love you little one,” Eggsy said to his monster. He went and knelt between Merlin’s legs. “You make him feel good. I’ll take care of this.” Krakkie’s tentacles were swarming over Merlin’s skin, making him restless, making him curse. Light shone out of him in a way that it shouldn’t but also absolutely should.

Eggsy slicked up a finger and slowly circled Merlin’s hole. He rested his other hand on Merlin’s thigh, digging his fingers in a bit. He liked the way Merlin gasped his name.

**My name too**

Merlin said a word in a tongue Eggsy didn’t know, but krakkie shivered and squirmed and the tentacles reached the farthest out of Eggsy they ever had out of water. Merlin was almost completely covered in them, but a couple moved and began to stroke Eggsy’s cock and his back as well. Eggsy pressed his finger into Merlin and realized that it wasn’t so much him pressing in but krakkie moving his hand. “I know how to finger a bloke, krakkie.”

**Helping**

“You are sweet to help,” Merlin said and then put a tentacle back in his mouth and began to suck in earnest. Eggsy thought that wasn’t a bad idea and brought the one touching his back to his mouth and sucked.

**Yessss**

Eggsy was almost overwhelmed by the feelings, his krakkie’s, even Merlin’s. There were all joined in the moment, lost in the sensations. He and krakkie moved Eggsy’s finger in and out of Merlin and when he wanted to add a second he paused. “Merlin it is okay, if krakkie is in you too, right?”

**I’m already in him**

“Mouth and arse are different things,” Eggsy pointed out. “And whatever Merlin wants or does not want, we do. Right?” Eggsy snickered at the mopey sound that rumbled through the ancient and vast monster.

Merlin reached down, through the tentacles that were covering his body and pushed Eggsy’s hand and the tentacle around it towards his arse. He then moved his hand back to stroke the tentacle that was suctioning over one of his nipples.

Eggsy lubed up the tentacle, relieved it was one of the smaller ones, and his finger and the tentacle pushed into Merlin together. “Fuck,” Eggsy groaned.

**Fucccckkkkkkk**

Merlin made an incoherent noise around the tentacle he was sucking and arched into their combined touch. It was difficult to tell if he was writhing or it was the tentacles that covered him. But he clearly was happy, and so was krakkie, and that made Eggsy ecstatic. They moved in and out of Merlin and Eggsy cursed when in his excitement krakkie’s grip on his cock grew a little too much and the small suckers attached to his skin and pulled away. 

“Gentle, little one,” Eggsy said and the grip lightened on his cock.

**Daddy likes it**

The whole room froze. “Oh my god, the Kraken. The mother fucking creature of myth and legend, has a daddy kink.” 

**Not mother fucking, daddy fucking. That’s the point**

Eggsy could not stop the giggles that spilled out of him. He was laughing so hard he had to pull his finger out of Merlin and brace himself on the bed and still that wasn’t enough and he just collapsed on top of Merlin and all the tentacles and kept laughing. The tentacles moved about so that Merlin and Eggsy were skin to skin and then enveloped in the ghostly appendages. The tentacles even left their mouths so that they could kiss and Eggsy had to giggle all over again. “You taste like salt water.”

“Tentacle sucking will do that to you,” Merlin replied. His eyes were still shining black with galaxies in them. It’d be terrifying if it wasn’t also really fucking hot. Eggsy kissed Merlin’s jaw and chin and started to work down his chest. 

“Wow, krakkie!” Eggsy said as a lubed tentacle pushed against his hole. “Warn a guy.”

**Warning, fucking you both now**

Merlin and Eggsy were both swearing as tentacles pushed into them, and Eggsy pressed his lips against Merlin’s chest. “I can feel your heart,” Eggsy whispered and his hips rocked against Merlin as krakkie pressed in and out of him. “Your heart is so fucking human babe.”

“Of course it was designed to -”

Eggsy shook his head. “No. Your heart. It is  _ human _ . The way it loves? That can never be constructed. That is only what someone carries. It is human, Merlin.”

“What’s my name, Eggsy?”

“Merlin,” Eggsy replied and it felt like Merlin dimmed a little underneath him. He wondered what he had said wrong. But then Merlin was gasping and arching against him, their cocks rubbing as krakkie opened them up. Guess the monster found Merlin’s prostate. 

“More,” Merlin said.

“Give the man more, krakkie.”

**Give him everything**

“Yeah, that’s a good start,” Eggsy kissed his way down Merlin’s chest and made space in between Merlin’s legs, moving a tentacle out of the way and began to suck Merlin’s cock. He tasted of salt water and skin, of the dark, and that taste that was always in his mouth when he was done in the room.

“Fuck me,” Merlin begged, choking Eggsy with how he pushed his hips up. Eggsy pulled off Merlin’s cock and lubed up his cock.

“Krakkie,” Eggsy said and stroked the tentacle. “Let me now, okay?”

“Both,” Merlin said and Eggsy went very still.

“Merlin…”

“Both,” Merlin insisted.

**Yesssss both, everything yessss**

“I won’t hurt you,” Eggsy insisted. 

“So be careful,” Merlin demanded. “I want both of you to fuck. That’s the only way this works.”

Eggsy slicked his finger again and carefully nudged it in alongside the fairly thick tentacle. “This to work I want the thinner one, Krakkie. You can fuck me with the thickest, but if we are both taking him has to be the thin one, fair?”

“Fair,” Merlin agreed. He was rocking his hips up and Eggsy tapped his stomach and a tentacle quickly wrapped around Merlin’s cock again.

**Fair, Daddy**

That was the weirdest thing ever, but he wasn’t going to comment on it. He and the tentacle slowly stretched Merlin and eventually it was to the point if they didn’t fuck the man, Eggsy would lose his nerve. The thick tentacle pulled out and the thinner inner tentacle approached. Eggsy lubed it up generously and his cock as well. A couple tentacles lifted Merlin’s hips a bit and the thin tentacle attached its suckers to Eggsy’s cock, putting them as close together as possible. “Ready, Merlin?”

Merlin was incapable of words at that point and nodded. Eggsy guided his cock and krakkie’s tentacle and slowly pushed into Merlin’s hole. They had barely breached Merlin and the feedback loop between his own pleasure and krakkie’s was deafening.

Added was that tentacle in his own arse was starting to stroke his prostate. He wanted this to last a bit longer. Eggsy took a deep breath and began to sink into Merlin. He kept close watch and Merlin winced a bit but there wasn’t more than the expected strain on his face. “You astound me,” Eggsy whispered.

“Say my name, Eggsy,” Merlin begged.

“Merlin, I love you. I love you so much,” Eggsy babbled and with one last roll of his hips and and krakkie were fully seated in Merlin. It was so fucking tight, and the tentacle was pulsing and he was shaking, and Merlin’s eyes the stars were growing brighter with their shared passion.

With their shared souls.

“Please, more,” Merlin begged and Eggsy pulled back, krakkie letting him lead and he pushed back in. krakkie timed the thrusts into Eggsy at the same pace that Eggsy was pushing them into Merlin. It was impossible to keep track of all the sensations they were feeling and Merlin pulled the tentacle off his cock and pushed it into his mouth. Since krakkie had them both steady, Eggsy wrapped his hand around Merlin and began to stroke.

Nothing was really coordinated as they grew lost in the sensations, but everything felt perfect. Eggsy could smell the ocean, krakkie was just babbling nonsense noises and Merlin was almost growling around the tentacle in his mouth. Eggsy moved faster, krakkie moved faster and Merlin just took everything they were giving him.

He was shining so brightly it was almost difficult to look at him.

Eggsy couldn’t look away.

Merlin grew brighter, darker. The brightest black that couldn’t be fathomed and a ghost tentacle covered Eggsy’s eyes. Eggsy could feel his orgasm building in him. It felt like it always did. It felt like nothing he had a name for.

Merlin must have dropped the tentacle from his mouth because his moans and curses were clear and his body was going rigid on under them. “Say my name, Eggsy.”

“Daniel,” Eggsy said and his grip grew punishing on Merlin’s cock as his own orgasm rolled through him, as he felt krakkie almost explode with sensation. “Daniel,” Eggsy wept and collapsed against him.

When he was able to think beyond making sure he kept breathing he rolled off of Merlin. Krakkie withdrew into Eggsy and was just humming with power, singing a song with no words, no music, but it was singing nonetheless.

Eggsy rolled his head and looked at Merlin. Merlin’s eyes were back to human and watching him. 

“I think the world is still here.”

“There is no world,” Eggsy said. “There’s just this room. Us. Nothing else.”

Merlin gave a small laugh. “Your dick is very magic indeed, then.”

“Told you so. Daniel.” Eggsy inched over and kissed him and wrapped them in the blankets. “So sad, that the world, the universe is just this room. All that’s left. Crying shame.”

“I just heard your neighbours flush the toilet.”

“Figment of your imagination,” Eggsy promised and yawned. He curled into Merlin. “All there is, is us.”

**Us**

“Us,” Merlin agreed and they fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is functionally the last chapter of the story. the last last chapter of the story is an epilogue that really will exist to lead into the next story in the series which is all about harry's monster.

When they went to the office the next day Arthur was waiting for them. “Hiya,” Eggsy was feeling pretty darn cheerful. The morning sex where Merlin woke he and krakkie up had been quite delightful. “Look! The world is still here.”

“Oh, I guess you didn’t bother reading the news this morning. Scientists are rather freaking out that Saturn no longer has any rings and what that means for the state of the solar system.” He gave them a polite smile and pet his ghost dog.

“Hello, pup,” Merlin said and smiled when the dog tackled him.

“And he can clearly see our creatures,” Percival added. “Saturn no rings, all watches are 3 minutes off, and he can see our monsters.”

Eggsy paled. “Saturn’s got no rings? But Daisy calls those Saturn’s hula hoops, they can’t be gone!”

**Hehehehehehe**

“Are you fucking playing me, sir?” Eggsy glared at the man.

“The watches thing is accurate. Time seems to have lost three minutes. Wonder what three minutes were those?” Percival smirked a bit. “Bet they were a great three minutes that they ate up the entire existence of that time for the whole planet.”

Eggsy could feel himself flushing.

“My name is Daniel,” Merlin replied looking at Percival but still giving the ghost dog pets. “Give a construct like me a name, and orgasm at the same time? There are consequences.”

“Daniel, it is my great pleasure to meet you,” Percival gave him a sincere smile. He gazed fondly at his dog. “I have you to thank for my companion.”

“Yes, and no,” Merlin replied.

“Babe, can you actually explain any of it? Because it makes zero sense,” Eggsy said. A tentacle coiled around his arm and he automatically nuzzled it when it caressed his cheek.

**It makes all the sense**

“To us, it does, baby,” Merlin said gently. “Because it is who we are. They just got thrown in the into it all. It makes sense to us because it is a part of our being.”

**I’m a part of his being**

“You are, baby. And you are a part of me.” The ghost dog made a noise. “You are a part of me too.”

**His puny tentacle is mine. You play fetch with your human’s less puny tentacle**

Merlin looked Percival up and down. “Well then.”

“Oi, no well then,” Eggsy snapped. 

The dog abandoned them and immediately went and nuzzled Percival’s crotch. “Later,” Percival promised. “Do you prefer Merlin or Daniel?”

“Merlin at work,” Merlin replied.

“Very well,” Percival looked at him. “Merlin, where is the room?”

“Where it has always been, where it will always be, my office.” Merlin replied and headed down the hall.

“I think we follow?” Eggsy said.

“This will be very interesting,” Percival decided. “Your dick made the world lose three minutes Eggsy.”

“Is it wrong that I am kind of proud?”

“I would be,” Percival offered. 

“You are so not what I expected you know.”

“People seldom are.” Percival walked down the hall his ghost dog ambling beside him, krakkie reaching out and holding onto the wagging tail.

“Ain’t that the fucking truth.” Eggsy watched Merlin as he walked and wondered when they’d be able to go back to bed. He frowned though when Merlin went past his usual space. “Merlin’s that’s your office.”

“No that is where I work,” Merlin said.

“Innit the same thing?”

“Not, quite,” Merlin replied. Three more doors down and he stopped. There was the black door but now it was also covered in stars. Merlin put his hand on it. “I have never been allowed in. For the longest time, I assumed it was because I wasn’t worthy and I suppose I wasn’t.”

**Daddy no**

The ghost dog whined.

Merlin smiled at them and god Eggsy loved him so. “Fair,” he said, “I wasn’t ready. Because the room and I were separate and the same. The room was incomprehensible, and I was a paradox. I contained everything and nothing. And now I contain a name. It is time I say hello.” His hand stilled on the door knob and Eggsy helped him turn it and they walked into the room, all three.

Merlin looked around. “It looks like a library. I like libraries.”

_ I like libraries _

“There’s the trolly voice of the endless void,” Eggsy whispered. “Where krakkie gets his bullshit from.”

**Hey**

_ Hey _

“Hello, Mum,” Merlin said and went and touched a few of the books.

_ Hello, Dad _

“I am never going to understand this,” Eggsy said.

“I do,” Percival replied.

“Do you?”

Percival snorted. “No not even a little, but look how happy he is right now.” Percival gestured and the ghost dog was spinning in circles and krakkie was pouring out of Eggsy and looking around for water.

Merlin pulled a book of the shelf. “20,000 Leagues,” he said and opened the pages. He shifted the book and water spilled from the page. “Enjoy.” krakkie squealed and dived in. Merlin set the open book on the table and reached for another. “The fox and the hound.” He pulled out a bone and through it for the dog who gave merry chase. “Oh I wish all my children were here.”

_ I wish all my children were here _

“They will be,” Percival promised them. “It is time. All the Kingsman need to let go. To embrace. We need to be more thankful for what you have given us.” He went to the wall and kissed one of the books.

Eggsy flinched when the whole room giggled. He could almost see the walls blushing. Odd, it hadn’t changed any. Just was staying a library. I mean if you ignored the view out the window.

He was really getting used to the endless void. He wondered if that was good or bad.

Percival then went over to Merlin and kissed him. “Thank you for the gift of yourself and everything else you have given.” He pressed his tongue into Merlin’s mouth and Eggsy didn’t complain. He felt like Percival was giving Merlin just a little bit more humanity with that kiss. “Your birthday is November 24th.”

“Isn’t that nice to know?” Merlin kissed Percival’s forehead.

_ Isn’t that nice to know _

Merlin picked up another book off the shelf and began to read aloud. “In the beginning there was nothing.”

_ In the beginning there was us _

“And God said let there be light.”

_ And we said let there be hope _

“And God said -”

_ And we said _

Merlin smiled, “and we said. Let there be living dreams. And we birthed suns and stars and galaxies and monsters.”

“When did you create humans?” Eggsy asked.

“We didn’t,” Merlin replied. 

“Oh right evolution,” Eggsy shook his head at himself.

Merlin reached out and cupped his cheek. “No darling that is what you don’t quite understand, though you are closer than anyone has ever been before. There are no such things as humans.”

“We’re all mad here,” Percival said in awe.

“I don’t understand,” Eggsy admitted.

Krakkie swum up a bit from the pages of his book.

**Yes you do. Hidden depths. Room enough to hold me. We break worlds**

“Oh,” Eggsy didn’t know if the realization made him happy or sad. “You didn’t create humans because humans don’t exist. You created monsters. We’re all monsters in the end.”

“Aye,” Merlin replied. “Gorgeous, impossible monsters. Let me hear you roar.”

Eggsy closed his eyes and screamed into the library. Screamed until he was hoarse and collapsed against Merlin and krakkie entwined them both. He couldn’t see Percival when he opened his eyes but the library extended into infinity, there was tons of space to play fetch with the black dog of England.

Merlin’s eyes were black again and filled with stars. 

“That is such a good look on you,” Eggsy whispered, voice not capable of more. He tilted his head and kissed Merlin. “Your last name is Unwin.”

“Is it?”

“It will be one day,” Eggsy promised and bit at Merlin’s throat and they fell onto the ground and krakkie dove out of the book and began to pull off their clothes. Merlin scratched his nails into the floor and the whole room shivered. “Let’s make the world lose a few more minutes.”

“Let’s,” Merlin agreed and the whole room pulsed and flickered in time with Merlin and Eggsy’s bodies and krakkie entwined himself around them and between them and when Merlin’s come spilled on the ground a forest with a pool grew up around them. “And God said it was good and rested,” Merlin said and yawned.

_ And we said sex is awesome and rested _

**And we said puny tentacles are worth something after all and rested**

“And we said, look at how we love, and breathe life and soul into each other. Look at what we can do and be in awe. And then we took a bloody nap,” Eggsy added. He wrapped his arms around Merlin tightly. “Is the room what you hoped, babe?”

“Who cares about the room when I have you?” Merlin snuggled in and drifted off.

_ Who cares when we have you _

**I care**

“Yeah, I care too,” Eggsy promised.

“As do I,” Percival agreed. He was carrying his clothes and his ghost dog ran and lay down against Merlin. “Hmm, naps. Yes.” He lay down as well and all of them fell asleep together.

When they awoke they were still in the room and it still looked like a library. But there was a hum to it, different. Like it was in standby mode. Waiting to be needed. Waiting to be wanted. “Thank you for picking me,” Eggsy said softly

_ Thank you for picking me _ whispered back to him.

A tentacle wrapped around his wrist.

**Thank you for picking me**

“Thank you for picking me,” Merlin added.

“Thank you for picking me,” Percival said and they all looked at him. “Yes I understand for all of you that was a romantic or cosmic declaration. But I am still thankful for being chosen as Arthur and my current situation with my puppy.” The ghost dog woofed. Percival picked up his clothes. “I’ll leave you all be.”

He left the room and the room wrapped Merlin and Eggsy in blankets. 

Eggsy cupped Merlin’s cheek. “You hate the colour purple.”

“I already knew that.”

Eggsy laughed. “Tell me about things that have happened here.”

“In this space, Great Expectations was written. A girl was declared a witch and the room was shocked when she was one and destroyed them all in fire. Someone was poisoned, and someone became a true monster. And in this room, an odd lad who saw the truth and love and possibility promised forever to a constructed human who is just figuring out what to do with the soul he was given when he fell in love with that odd lad.”

“That last one is my favourite.”

“It is mine as well,” Merlin said and pulled Eggsy in for a kiss.

_ Ours as well _

**Me too**


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading. i hope you come along for the ride for Harry's monster

_One Week Later_

Arthur sat at the head of the table. Merlin stood beside him.

Roxy bit her lip. "Merlin's eyes," she whispered to Eggsy.

"Oh, yeah, they do that when he's happy. Arthur's about to make an announcement that makes him very happy," Eggsy gave Merlin a blinding smile which Merlin returned. The stars in Merlin's black eyes were swirling about. "We been making him more human, but well there are a few quirks in the system."

"I don't understand," Roxy said.

**You will**

She looked around the room, "who said that?" Everyone was quiet and Harry was looking rather strained. Most people shook their heads. "I heard something."

"Interesting." Percival flicked his wrist and the ghost dog went and licked Roxy's arms. She screamed. "Can you see him my dear?"

"No. See what?"

"The Black Dog of England," Percival said. "My beloved puppy. My dear monster."

Harry looked at Eggsy and then at Percival. "You listened to Eggsy. What part of your soul did you give to your vile creature."

The whole room heard the sad puppy whimper and flinched.

"We do not be mean to dogs," Percival chided. "And I gave up the space that held my...gentlemanly veneer over certain things."

"He's a really cheerful and gentlemanly perv," Eggsy said and Percival snorted at that.

"Eggsy that is Arthur, and you will speak to him with respect."

"Look I had an almost sorta fourway with him and his dog, and my krakkie, my little one, my kraken. I'll say what I want."

**He has a nice tentacle**

"You are too kind," Percival said and reached out and krakkie wrapped a tentacle around his wrist. "We are able to say our creatures names, have them sort of manifest because we returned to the room and let them fuck us. I would suggest that you all do the same." The room exploded with noise and shouts and he pet the ghost dog while he waited for it to die down. Eggsy chased his fingers over krakkie's tentacles that were drumming on the table and Merlin stood there looking at his clipboard.

"You've been strangling my children," Merlin said and all the noise cut off. "You never say thank you for everything they give you. And you hurt them. I would like it to stop please and thank you agents."

"Children?" Bors asked.

"I am created by the room. I created the room. I am the beginning and the end. And I still need a middle name."

"I like Sebastian?" Roxy offered.

"Hmm, has potential, but not sure," Merlin replied.

"You said it wrong," Eggsy told her.

"Your middle name is Jasper," Harry said.

"Why thank you, Harry."

"See you have to know the information about Merlin deep in your soul and give it to him," Eggsy explained. "Daniel Jasper Unwin. I dig it."

"I dig it as well."

"If I let my monster out, we will all die," Harry said.

"No, no there are ways to deal with her. You have given her more freedom than others have theirs. And that hint is killing her. Fuck her in the room Harry and be free of the fear bleeding your heart dry."

"Excuse me," Harry said and stood up and left the table.

"Is he going to the room?" Roxy asked. "Just like that? Because I want to talk about this more."

Merlin closed his eyes. "No. Harry is running. He is going to run away and he will be torn apart." He looked at Percival. "Sir?"

Percival looked at his dog. "Would you like to play a game dearest?"

The dog woofed and spun in a circle.

**I want to play**

"We'll play something else later," Eggsy stroked his stomach.

"Shall we play fetch Harry?" Percival asked his ghost dog who yipped and grew to double his size. "Fetch, Harry, puppy." The puppy tore out of the room. "This will likely take some time. Eggsy you are temporarily Arthur while I deal with this."

"Wait, what the fuck?"

"You understand monster fucking and the room best. Help your colleagues. Merlin stop having orgasm that lose the world time, or if you won't film them for profit. Everyone put on some baby making music and get it on. That is an order. Excuse me." Percival left the room chasing after his dog and Harry.

Merlin gave Eggsy a look and Eggsy moved into the Arthur chair. "Right so who has questions about how to be fucked by a sort of apparition-y monster in a room that contains the endless void but now looks mostly like a library?" Every hand rose and Eggsy was ready to panic. He felt Merlin's hand on his shoulder and krakkie wrapped tentacles around him. "Okay, here we go," Eggsy said and explained everything that had happened since he had first walked into the room.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Artwork for The Secret Bonds of a Monstrous Soul](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17376452) by [elrhiarhodan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elrhiarhodan/pseuds/elrhiarhodan)




End file.
